I'm gonna wake up in the city that never sleeps...

I'm off for an all-expense paid, whirlwind trip to "Fun City," so look for any eagerly-awaited blog updates after the weekend. In the meantime, I leave you with this, the greatest newspaper headline ever written. If I ever die in an especially gruesome and embarrassing manner, this is how I want my passing to be commemorated.

Wouldn't that headline beat any mere obituary you can think of? You're damn right it would.

Dennis the Menace Fight Club

It's funny stuff, especially if you've seen the movie and read the book. Here's a sample ...


... and there's plenty more here and here. (Hell, I'm astonished 20th Century Fox still has that movie site up -- that flick is 7 years old!)

And now, let's take a moment to give thanks

Being that it's still (sort of) Thanksgiving weekend, and I'm just coming off the tryptophan buzz of the turkey, I thought I'd take a moment and (believe it or not) give thanks. I'll spare you my gratitude for the big stuff (new daughter, loving wife, healthy family, good friends, etc.) and delve right into what really matters here at X-Ray Spex -- comic books. So here, for the next time you're griping that funnybooks just aren't, well, much fun anymore, are ten reasons to be thankful. Well, my ten reasons, anyway.

From ALL-STAR SUPERMAN issue 1, page 1: The Origin in eight words and four pictures. What more do you need to know?

1. ALL-STAR SUPERMAN -- Five issues in, and Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's re-imagining of the primal super-hero ranks with the very best super-hero comics ever. Yes, ever. In issue after issue, they've re-examined and revitalized Superman's relationships with Lois, Jimmy, Luthor and even Clark Kent. It's funny, it's exciting, it's constantly surprising and it's even touching in a cornball sort of way. And Krypto's coming next issue? I can't wait!

2. THE DOOM PATROL ... AND MAYBE FLEX MENTALLO? -- Speaking of Morrison and Quitely, now that DC's trade paperback reprint series has arrived at the issues that introduce Flex Mentallo -- AND included his Charles Atlas-inspired origin -- does this mean we might finally see a reprint of the FLEX MENTALLO mini-series, which is getting to be pretty rare these days? I hope so. I've got the issues, but I'd love a trade. (And those DOOM PATROL books are nothing to sneeze at either. Just as weird as the original series!)

3. ABSOLUTE NEW FRONTIER -- Have you seen this tome? I'm not one to pick up all those massive (and massively expensive) Absolute books, but this one is really worth the coin (especially if you can snag it for less than half price at Borders, like I did). Darwyn Cooke's heart-felt, balls-out love letter to the Silver Age of comics looks great in the big, slick Absolute format, and the extras are like tasty icing on that four-color cake: sketches, layouts and making-of material galore, plus an amusing and extensive set of annotations charting all the in-jokes, inspirations and insane bits of detail.

4. THE COMPLETE DICK TRACY -- Like I've said before, DICK TRACY is my favorite comic strip of all time. The fact that I can now get every strip in a great little set of hardcover books makes the fact that I'll have to wait a few volumes to get to the really good stuff a minor point indeed. Even the very early storylines, before either Chester Gould's frenzied sense of the macabre or his stark use of blacks had matured, are still a blast to read. And hell, Tracy still kills plenty of people.

5. POPEYE VOL. 1: I YAM WHAT I YAM -- I'm almost as excited about this project from Fantagraphics: a six-volume set reprinting all the E.C. Segar THIMBLE THEATRE strips featuring a certain muttering sailor. These books are the exact opposite of the stately, compact TRACY and PEANUTS volumes -- they're big (six strips to a page), loud (dig the punch on that cover -- and then dig the die-cut) and will only fit on the biggest shelf in your house. Great stuff, and it promises to be one hell of a story when it's all completed. Toot toot!

6. THE COMICS JOURNAL LIBRARY: HARVEY KURTZMAN -- I've been a huge fan of Harvey Kurtzman since before I knew who he was and that copy of THE MAD READER from the public library warped my fragile little mind. This hefty paperback collects all the JOURNAL interviews with Harv, then throws in lots of essays, other interviews and the incisive obit R. Fiore wrote after his death in the early '90s. Best of all, it includes tons of his work and artwork. When is someone going to reprint all those issues of TRUMP, HELP and HUMBUG, and all the magazine pieces he did? I'll be first in line to buy -- I promise.

7. DAREDEVIL: THE DEVIL, INSIDE AND OUT -- I don't write about Marvel Comics much in this here blog, not because I'm a DC boy (though I guess I am), but truth is, I don't have a lot of free time to read 'em. After avidly following the Bendis/Maleev DD run, I bought that first trade of Ed Brubaker and Michael Lark's run though, and enjoyed the heck out of it. Sending Matt to prison was a brilliant move and perfectly played throughout the series. My only regret is that now I can't do it in CATWOMAN. Damn you, Ed Brubaker! Damn you to hell! (And incidentally, Ed's CRIMINAL deserves all the praise it's getting, too. )

8. IT'S SUPERMAN! -- I just started reading this novel by Tom De Haven, but so far it's a blast, combining a real knowledge of 1930s America with the legendary origin of you-know-who. De Haven has written novels that tied into comics history before, but having him actually take a crack at Clark, Lois, Luthor and the rest is a stroke of genius. And though Chris Ware's cover on the hardcover version was nice, the paperback is even better. It's a shot from one of the Fleischer Superman cartoons -- just look at that building start to bennnnnd.

9. CAPTAIN ADAM: ARMAGEDDON and CATWOMAN: THE REPLACEMENTS -- So sue me. I'm also thankful that some of my work is getting collected in a form slightly more durable than the monthly pamphlet. Believe me, when someone asks to see what I've done, it's much easier to dig out one trade paperback than a stack of comics -- especially for a continued storyline. And there's a certain pleasure in sitting back with a book you've written, cracking the binding and paging through it -- even though you're bound to see things you wish you'd done differently. Aw hell -- I'm still thankful.

10. THE INTERNET -- Yes, that's right, the Internet. I've been reading comics for a long, long time (since the mid 1970s, kiddies) and if you had told me one day that I'd be able to read thousands of different articles, columns and opinions on every comic imaginable, or that there would be free audio shows I could listen to, or that I'd be able to connect with other creators through a magic device called a "computer," well, I'd have probably burned you at the stake. Sure, 90 percent of what you read on the Web is crap, but you know what? Ninety percent of everything is crap. Be grateful -- no, be thankful -- for that other 10 percent.

Buy my comics, make me rich: CATWOMAN #61

Almost forgot about this one, too -- having CATWOMAN ship a week earlier in the month has really screwed with my schedule. Anyway, issue 61 should be sitting proudly on the stands of your local comic book shop as we speak. Just look for this Adam Hughes cover...

Inside, you'll find the concluding chapter of the three-part "It's Only a Movie," with more film references than you can shake a stick at -- if that's your idea of a good time. (And what is that line a reference to?) Plus, there's a cliffhanger ending that teases to next issue, which focuses on everyone's favorite subject, the father of lil' Helena. As always, bring your comments, questions and criticisms 'round to these parts, and I'll do my best to answer them.

And, as much as I'd like to take credit for having the best thing on the shelves this week, I must defer to (among other things) the first volume of E.C SEGAR'S POPEYE from Fantagraphics, which arrived today (at least in my store -- some luck folks got it last week.) Gang, this is what comics is all about -- funny, action packed stories with colorful characters that keep you coming back for more. If you've never read the original THIMBLE THEATRE strips that introduced the famous sailor, you're in for a treat. They're some of the most purely fun (and funny) comics ever produced. And I can't imagine a better collection than this one -- almost 200 big (BIG!) pages collecting both daily and Sunday strips (in color). There's even a nifty die-cut on the cover to add to the fun. Seriously. Skip buying any double issues, drop any books you're not really reading and pony up $29.95 (a huge bargain) for this book. You won't regret it. I've been waiting for it for a long, long time, and any delays were definitely worth it. Between this, WALT AND SKEEZIX, PEANUTS and DICK TRACY, we're living in a golden age of comic strip reprints.

Buy my comics, make me rich: CAPTAIN ATOM: ARMAGEDDON collection

In all the excitement over the Grand Old Party getting its ass royally beat, I almost forgot -- the CAPTAIN ATOM: ARMAGEDDON trade paperback, with script by yours truly and pencils by Giuseppe Camuncoli, inks by Sandra Hope and covers by just about everyone in the biz hit the stands this week. It's cosmic-riffic! Universes live! Universes die! And there's jokes, too, plus at least one issue named after a sappy '70s soft rock song.

Not convinced? Here's a rave review from The Roar of Comics blog. Still not convinced? Then mull this over, true believers: The trade is much cheaper than buying all the issues separately. Wotta deal!

And, as always, any comments, questions, criticisms, etc., bring 'em here.

Ha ha ha

Thanks, America. You didn't let me down.

And it's just going to get worse. When this was printed, the Dems had only taken the House. But a little bit later...

Don't cry, little girl. Whether your dad won the election or not, he's still an idiot. PS: You'd better hope you don't grow up to be a lesbian.

And what exactly are you laughing about, fat boy?

You know what to do

Unfortunately, we can't vote this asshole out of office (having blown that chance two years ago), but at least we can make his final two years as president as miserable as possible.

And, as a bonus, we can slow down the religious takeover of our government, maybe clear a path for stem cell research, halt a few of those marriage amendment proposals, get the hell out of Iraq, jack the estate tax back up and generally try to make this country a better place to live.

So, as a personal favor to me, turn off the computer for a half-hour or so on Tuesday and vote.

Update: Need to know where to vote? Go here.

I said, are you ready to rock?

First six minutes of TENACIOUS D: THE PICK OF DESTINY.



You're welcome.

Ha ha ha

You know, aside from weird old movies and ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, I don't think there's anything I enjoy watching more than some evangelical jerk get hoisted on the petard of his own hypocrisy. It was funny when Jim Bakker did it, it was funny when Jimmy Swaggart did it, and it's still funny today, when Ted Haggard is doing it. Why, just check out this clip of Ted, courtesy of Daily Kos...



In case you were wondering, that's the same upstanding fellow who can be seen on your TV set, desperately denying that he's been paying a male prositute for sex for three years -- and apparently sharing a bit of crystal meth with him as well (though he's probably covered, God-wise, on that one. I sincerely doubt crystal meth is mentioned in the bible.) Despite Ted's no-doubt heartfelt denials, the male pros apparently has some damning voicemails from the good reverend -- damning enough that a major paper like the Denver Post went with the story.

You'd expect more sense from a guy who doesn't believe in evolution, thinks the world was created in a mere 144 hours, figures stem-cell research is the path to hell, expects the rapture to occur any day now and is pals with Pat "Super strength" Robertson.

Sounds like just the sort of guy we want whispering in the ear of our pres, eh? Well, that's what he does.

Idiots. They're all idiots. Yeesh.