And what you say about his company is what you say about society...

Been busy lately, what with the kid, CATWOMAN and AMAZONS, plus a couple of other one-shot comic projects I can't talk about just yet. Oh yeah, and the day job, too. But I wanted to post something here so a) you didn't forget that I'm alive, and b) you'll all remember to watch THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY Wednesday night in its brand-spanking-new timeslot, 7:30 Central, 8:30 Eastern. Hopefully that will remove it from the path of that goddam AMERICAN IDOL juggernaut. At least ABC seems willing to stick with it -- for now.

The scene in a recent episode where the gang sang along to the KNIGHTS theme song -- aka Rush's "Tom Sawyer" -- is one of the funniest things I've seen on TV in a long, long time. Here's a clip, via You-Know-Who-Tube. Enjoy -- and then be sure to tune in on Wednesday. KNIGHTS needs all the viewers it can get.

A rare chance to see a great movie

If you have Turner Classic Movies on your cable system, make sure you're watching (or Tivo-ing or DVR-ing or taping) the channel at 2:30 a.m. (1:30 central) on Thursday, Jan. 25. That's when you'll catch a very rare showing of Billy's Wilder's 1951 caustic classic ACE IN THE HOLE (aka THE BIG CARNIVAL).

Kirk Douglas -- at his bitter best -- plays an opportunistic reporter who stumbles onto a potentially huge story: a miner trapped in a cave-in. Let's just say Kirk leaps over any ethical boundaries to make the most of the situation. I won't spoil any surprises -- this movie works best when you're constantly surprised by how low Kirk's character is willing to go -- but I will say this: A lot of movies claim to be cynical. This movie is cynical. It's also very entertaining (in, admittedly, a dark way) and thrillingly acted. In his prime, Douglas was an actor willing to go all out without worrying whether he was likeable or not. He never went further out than this.

ACE IN THE HOLE, by the way, isn't on DVD or videotape, and it's rarely shown on TV. I don't know when it will air next, so catch it while you can. I don't think you'll regret it -- unless you're the type of moviegoer who demands a happy ending. Then I'm afraid you're out of luck.

Mark Evanier sounded the alarm for this showing on his excellent News From Me blog. Check out his posting on the film -- he makes some interesting comments, though I don't think he's as big a fan of the film as I am.

Buy my comics, make me rich: CATWOMAN #63

Out this week in your friendly neighborhood sequential art emporium -- the latest issue of CATWOMAN. The story includes one final discussion about the parentage of Selina's baby, a senseless assault on a guy delivering pizza, a brief visit to Alaska and a surprise guest appearance on the last page of the issue.

C'mon -- you gotta buy it now, right? Just look for this swanky Adam Hughes cover...

As always, any comments, criticisms or questions are always welcome here.

As if you needed it, here's another reason to hate Dane Cook

I was flipping around the channels last night before going to bed, and I stumbled onto some Dane Cook comedy "special" on HBO. I figured I'd stick around for a minute to see what all the fuss is about.

Here's what I saw: Cook told some long, rambling non-joke about how he hates atheists because when you ask them what happens when you die, they always say they'll become one with the Earth and then when a tree grows where they were buried they'll be part of that tree. Then Dane, the wit, says what he would like to see would be some big guy with an axe come and chop down the tree, then chop the tree up, then make the wood into paper, then use it to print .... get ready for the punchline....a Bible!

And naturally, the huge (and I mean huge) audience of idiots lapped this up. I just sat there, staring at the set, thinking it's not going to take us anywhere near 500 years to reach the world of IDIOCRACY. More like 50 weeks.

A couple of questions:
1. This is comedy? Even assuming you're a right wing Christian loony, there's funnier, edgier stuff on BANANAS.
2. What sort of atheist thinks he's gonna become one with a tree when he dies? Don't most atheists figure when you're gone, you're gone? Isn't that the whole point? (And, while we're on the topic, isn't that pretty much what actually happens?)
3. If Dane Cook does, in fact, steal his material from funnier comedians like Louis C.K., shouldn't his jokes be, you know, funnier?

Once again, I weep for the younger generation.

The Third Coming of Let's All Go to the Movies, Part 4 -- The Final Chapter

OCTOBER

“Action in the North Atlantic” (DVD)
“All Through the Night” (DVD)
“Passage to Marseilles” (DVD)
“The Departed” (theater)
“I Was a Teenage Movie Maker” (DVD)
“Mudhoney” (TCM)
“Street Trash” (DVD)

“Mad Love” (DVD)

In the continuing saga of "Which Boxed Set Arrived This Month?," we feature screen legend Humphrey Bogart. NORTH ATLANTIC, ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT and MARSEILLES all came from that set. My favorite was ACTION IN THE NORTH ATLANTIC, a genuinely exciting World War II drama with plenty of action and a nice use of models. Bogey is his usual cool self, and the Skipper's dad (aka Alan Hale Sr.) gets some screen time, too.

THE DEPARTED was one of the few post-Allison theatrical excursions I made in 2006. I was choosing carefully -- those late night viewings take their toll -- but this was a good one. It wasn't on the level of GOODFELLAS, but it was nice to see Martin Scorsese go back to a street-level, down-and-dirty drama. The cast -- everyone from Nicholson on down -- was excellent, with DiCaprio (Scorsese's new De Niro?) giving an on-edge, standout performance. The guy is really good. (Interesting, isn't it, how the two stars of the biggest movie of all time are among the best actors of their generation?) I could've done without the rat on the ledge at the end of the film, but otherwise it was pretty damned great. Hopefully it'll finally win Marty his Oscar (though he should've won it in 1991 for GOODFELLAS -- damned DANCES WITH WOLVES.)

MUDHONEY aired, believe it or not, on classy old Turner Movie Classics, as part of Rob Zombie's TCM Underground show. I could do without all the "edgy" visuals used for Zombie's infos, but the man knows his movies and the choices have been excellent. Plus, they air uncut -- which means Russ Meyer's southern-fried melodrama had all the nudity and innuendo intact. That, my friends, is why my cable bill is more than my mortgage.

NOVEMBER

“Who Wants to Kill Jessie?” (DVD)
“The Meltdown Memoirs” (on “Street Trash” DVD)
“The Da Vinci Code” (DVD)
“Layer Cake” (Encore Mystery)
“Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” (theater)
“While the City Sleeps” (TCM)
“Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut” (DVD)
“The Sadist” (TCM)
“The St. Louis Kid” (TCM)
“Art School Confidential” (InDemand Cable)
“X-Men: The Last Stand” (United Flight 674)

November started off strange with WHO WANTS TO KILL JESSIE, a Czech comedy about comic book characters who come to life and speak via floating word balloons -- sort of like WHO KILLED ROGER RABBIT, the novel that inspired WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT. Naturally, being from Czechloslovakia and being from 1966, the movie is in black and white, but it's surprisingly funny. I highly recommend getting a copy of your own from Facets Video, because this one won't be at your local video store. (Though Netflix, bless its little heart, does have a copy.) And normally I wouldn't give a DVD bonus feature it's own listing, but MELTDOWN MEMOIRS, the story behind the making of STREET TRASH, is an epic tale all its own, featuring several actors who peaked with this film -- which makes the doc both touching and a tad sad. Fascinating for low-budget film buffs, though -- and hell, it's longer than the movie it's describing!

BORAT was the last theatrical movie I saw all year, on a date with my lovely wife, Amy. Thankfully, it was well worth the trip out. I laughed more during this film than I can EVER remember laughing in a movie, and can't wait for the DVD. Judging by all the cut scenes that surfaced on the Web -- see, for example, above -- it should be loaded with extras. Want to hear an interview with Sacha Baron Cohen as himself? Click here.

The month's other mainstream movies were a mixed bag. LAYER CAKE was pretty good, THE DA VINCI CODE was pretty bad and X-MEN 3, which I watched in that best of all settings -- a plane -- was pretty unforgettable. The much-hyped Richard Donner cut of SUPERMAN II had its good parts (the scene where Lois jumped out the window to trick Clark into saving her) but using the turn-time-backwards gimmick (possibly the worst movie ending of all time) was even a bigger mistake here than in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE. Plus, the re-edit cut what might be the movie's best fan geek line ("General, would you care to step outside?") and replaced it with the idiotic "General, don't you believe in freedom of the press?" Yeesh.

And what was up with all the hate for ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL? Being a big Dan Clowes fan I might be a tad biased, but I really liked it. Interesting characters, twisty plot and plenty of yuks. Plus, I spent a year and a half in art school. This movie was a documentary.

DECEMBER

“The Fountain” (Angelika Film Center)
“Red Headed Woman” (DVD)
“Waterloo Bridge” (DVD)
“Union Station” (TCM)
"Mystery House” (TCM)
“A Scanner Darkly” (DVD)
“Lady in the Water” (DVD)
“Sky High” (DVD)
“Overnight” (DVD)
“The Unholy Three” (TCM)
“Finding Nemo” (DVD)
“It’s a Wonderful Life” (NBC)
“The Descent” (DVD)
“In A Lonely Place” (TCM)
“The Wicker Man” (DVD)

What's going on in this scene from THE FOUNTAIN? I have no idea.

During my business trip to the Big Apple, I checked out THE FOUNTAIN at New York's famed Angelika Theater, figuring that (a) it would never come to Rockford, and (b) if I was going to see it, I wanted to see it on the big screen. Well, it looked good, I'll give it that. Otherwise, this epic look at death, hope, love, etc., was pretty muddled. I appreciate the fact that Darren Aronofsky had something to say, but I'm not sure what it was. Looking forward to what's rumored to be his next project, though -- an adaptation of FLICKER, which is a great, creepy novel about film history.

RED HEADED WOMAN and WATERLOO BRIDGE came courtesy of the Warner Bros/TCM FORBIDDEN HOLLYWOOD DVD set, along with BABY FACE, which I watched earlier in the year. Good stuff, and fascinating in the way pre-Code movies usually are -- seeing adults in old movies actually act like adults can be startling. The real revelation was Mae Clarke in WATERLOO BRIDGE. Though she's best known as the woman who got the grapefruit in the face in THE PUBLIC ENEMY, she proves here that, dammit, she can really act.

As for the rest, I reviewed M. Night Shyamalan's awful LADY IN THE WATER here (hope the link holds -- if not, I gave it a deservedly lousy review) along with A SCANNER DARKLY (better than expected). Didn't review SKY HIGH for the paper, but it was MUCH better than expected. THE DESCENT gets a review here (if link dies, it's a solid, scary movie), and the WICKER MAN review is here (solid, scary and very seventies.)

Which leaves us with IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, which I've seen a dozen or more times but always enjoy. This year, in fact, I watched it on NBC, actually suffering through all the commercials. A few observations, if I may:

1. The scene with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed on the phone talking with Sam Wainwright (see above) has more sexual tension than every movie released since this one.

2. How the hell is "AS2" short for "Angel, Second Class" as Clarence claims? That doesn't make sense!

3. Right before George has his big blowup in front of Mary and the kids, notice what he's looking at -- models of buildings and bridges. In other words, reminders of his failures.

4. The guy Mary is talking to at the dance before George butts in -- you realize that's former Little Rascal Alfalfa Switzer, don't you?

People who call this movie schmaltzy or "Capra-corn" don't know what they're talking about. Yes, the final few minutes are designed to drag every tear of joy out of your eyes, but before that, this is a damned dark movie. It earns its happy ending -- and then some.

So, in the end that's 171 movies, topping last year's total by 31. Tune in next year to see if I can set a new record -- or if actual responsibilities of fatherhood, family life and work take priority.

The Third Coming of Let's All Go to the Movies, Part 3

JULY

“The Racket” (DVD)
“His Kind of Woman” (DVD)
“Masters of Horror: Homecoming” (DVD)
“Tapeheads” (Sundance Channel)
“On Dangerous Ground” (DVD)
“Woody Allen: A Life in Film” (TCM)
“Auto Focus” (IFC)
“Mission Impossible III” (DVD)
“Lady Killer” (TCM)
“Tristam Shandy: A Cock and Bull Tale” (DVD)
“Sinners’ Holiday” (TCM)
“25th Hour” (DVD)
“Panic Room” (DVD)
“Superman Returns” (theater)
“The Last Gangster” (TCM)
“Halloween: 25 Years of Terror” (DVD)
“The Girl Can’t Help It” (DVD)
“Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?” (DVD)
“Hitler’s Children” (TCM)
“Sin City” (DVD)

Mitchum and Russell in HIS KIND OF WOMAN.

If you guessed that I got my review copy of the third Warner Bros. Film Noir boxed set at the beginning of the month, give yourself a cigar. That's where THE RACKET, HIS KIND OF WOMAN and ON DANGEROUS GROUND came courtesy of. As good (and as consistenly praised) as ON DANGEROUS GROUND IS, my personal favorite in the set was HIS KIND OF WOMAN, mostly because it's so damned odd. Starring Robert Mitchum (who's getting his own boxed set very soon), Jane Russell, Vincent Price and Jim Backus, it's the only example of a film noir comedy I've ever seen -- though there are plenty of the requisite dark elements, including a wild torture scene involving Mitchum. Apparently producer Howard Hughes mucked around with this one for a long time after production was supposed to end. Most critics say screwed the whole thing up, but I like it a lot the way it is. Mitchum is his usual cool self, and Vincent Price (playing, believe it or not, a ham actor) is really funny -- and gets to be the good guy.

SINNERS HOLIDAY was one of the more interesting old movies I saw this month, courtesy (of course) of Turner Classics. The 1930 drama was the film debut of Jimmy Cagney and Joan Blondell, and though neither had quite nailed their screen personas at this point (Blondell, in fact, is a brunette), you can tell they had that something extra -- especially Cagney. Apparently Al Jolson bought the rights to the original play and insisted Cagney and Blonell be cast -- which doesn't make up for the awfulness of THE JAZZ SINGER, but at least it's something.

SUPERMAN RETURNS was the first movie I saw since adopting Allison. It was definitely one I wanted to see in the theaters, and for the most part, I wasn't disappointed. I know the goal was to re-create the feeling of the Richard Donner movies, and they succeeded -- possibly more than they intended. Like the original SUPERMAN, it was a little too long and the ending (at least the part where he lifted the big rock into space) left something to be desired -- though it wasn't the all-out travesty of the whole turning-back-time bit in the original. The effects were spot-on, the use of John Williams' score worked well and though Brandon Routh lacked the heft that Christopher Reeve brought to the role, he did a pretty good job.

AUGUST

“Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse” (videotape)
“Forbidden Adventure” (DVD)
“Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance” (Sundance)
“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake (DVD)
“Election” (DVD)
“Wall Street” (Fox Movie Channel)
“Any Given Sunday” (DVD)
“The Whistler” (TCM)
“C.S.A: “The Confederate States of America” (DVD)
“Island of Lost Souls” (TCM)
“The Gorilla” (TCM)
“Joe” (DVD)
“The Devil and Daniel Webster” (DVD)
“Do You Like Hitchcock?” (DVD)

Notice how "The Panther Woman" gets bigger billing than everyone else?

Another eclectic month, to say the least. Highlights included ISLAND OF LOST SOULS, one of the greatest horror movies ever made -- and one that's still not available on DVD, so keep an eye out for another showing on Turner Classics so you can burn your own copy (like I did). The movie goes much, much further into disturbing territory than most '30s horror, with surgical torture, half-human monsters and a pretty obvious attempt to get a our hero to have sex with something that looks human, but really isn't. And the big finale in the House of Pain still packs one helluva wallop.

Walter Huston as probably the greatest of all movie devils.

Continuing in the spooky vein (sort of), THE DEVIL AND DANIEL WEBSTER is a wonderful, weird movie based on the classic soul-selling story, with a cast that includes Walter Huston (giving a great performance as the devil), Edward Arnold (playing a rare heroic role as Webster) and CAT PEOPLE's Simone Simon (as the devil's sexy little helper). Thankfully, this one is available on a nice Criterion DVD, and comes highly recommended.

HEARTS OF DARKNESS, the fascinating, warts-and-all APOCALYPSE NOW doc that's almost as good as the movie that inspired it, isn't on DVD -- but rumors of its release are ever-present. I watched an old Showtime screener cassette I found in the basement, and decided to burn a disc before the 15-year-old tape disentegrated. Still amazing after all these years. Watch it if you ever get a chance.

Bit of an Oliver Stone double feature with WALL STREET and ANY GIVEN SUNDAY. I used to be quite the Stone fan (and still am one of the only people I know who really loved NIXON), but he hasn't done much for me lately, though I think ANY GIVEN SUNDAY is an entertaining mix of modern cynicism and old-fashioned sports cliches. WALL STREET, on the other hand, is nothing but cliches -- and boy has it aged in two decades. Still sorta fun, though.

FORBIDDEN ADVENTURE was the month's strangest movie, which is saying something. A fake documentary about a journey to Cambodia, it features some genuine footage of Angkor Wat mixed in with lots of fake footage shot on some Hollywood vacant lot. The main attraction back in the '30s for this movie was watching the "natives" run around half-dressed, though it's strange that the "natives" of Cambodia appear to be of African descent. (According to rumors, the extras were Los Angeles hookers). There's also a gorilla, again allegedly a native of Asia, but pretty obviously a guy in a suit. They really don't make them like this anymore, and it's hard to believe they ever did.

SEPTEMBER

“Night Nurse” (TCM)
“The Notorious Bettie Page” (DVD)
“Havana Widows” (DVD)
“The Candy Snatchers” (DVD)
“Too Hot to Handle” (TCM)
“The Best Man” (TCM)
“Bamboozled” (IFC)
“One Fatal Hour” (TCM)
“Doctor X” (DVD)
“The Return of Doctor X” (DVD)

Stanwyck and Blondell -- a couple of screen legends in their undies.

Another oddball month, with a slight emphasis on old movies, and a timely seque into October with a pair of films from Warner's LEGENDS OF HORROR set. But let's start with NIGHT NURSE, a movie that should have been on Warner's FORBIDDEN HOLLYWOOD set -- and hopefully will earn a spot on a follow-up collection. Much wilder than anything on that box (which I'll cover in December), NIGHT NURSE packs in plenty of violence, sex, glamorization of crime, tearing down of public institutions and all the other things that made Pre-Code movies so much fun. Remember Clark Gable, the nice All-American guy we discussed a few months ago? Well, here he plays a crook so nasty he not only slugs star Barbara Stanwyck, he's trying to slowly kill a couple of kids. There's no scene quite as wild as the publicity shot shown above, with Stanwyck and Joan Blondell discovering a skeleton in a bed, but there are actual scenes in the movie where the two ladies decide, at the spur of the moment, to swap outfits, just to give the viewers a peek at their skivvies. As they say, That's Entertainment!

HAVANA WIDOWS, which I also got from my pal Wayne (the GENUINE NERD director), is another Pre-Code wonder starring Blondell as a girl on the make trying to marry a schmuck and retire rich. Much lighter in tone than NIGHT NURSE, it's still a lot of fun. Both show up on Turner every so often, so keep an eye out.

THE CANDY SNATCHERS was a nasty bit of '70s exploitation that got quite the write-up in SLEAZOID EXPRESS, one of my absolute favorite movie books, so I had to give it a look. Not great, but not bad either. It was filmed like a typical TV-movie, but the subject matter -- a kidnapping plot that started out wrong and just got worse from there -- was consistently surprising and compelling. THE NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE was pretty light fare, but it did a nice job of recreating the 1950s and Bettie was, refreshingly, portrayed as a happy, well-adjusted woman who didn't take her work too seriously. Plus, if you've ever said to yourself "I wonder what Gretchen Mol looks like naked," this is the movie for you.
Speaking of Gable, TOO HOT TO HANDLE is the movie that should've been on that DVD collection. Gable plays a newsreel photographer who's just about the most amoral character ever to be the hero of a movie. He tricks his buddies, lies to his boss, concocts some outrageous scam on love interest Myrna Loy and consistently fakes his footage. In other words, he's great -- and the movie is almost unbelievably entertaining, right up to the ending which plays like a making-of doc for FORBIDDEN ADVENTURE -- except it's even crazier. Highly recommended.

I watched BAMBOOZLED on IFC one night because I remember being wildly disappointed by it originally and wanted to see if my initial impression was correct. It was. Between the ham-handed script and the cardboard characters, Spike Lee's interesting fable about a resurgence in minstrelsy lost any impact it might have had. Too bad we'll probably never see another movie on the topic, because there's a great story to be told -- if only to explain such things as THE JAZZ SINGER and CHECK AND DOUBLE CHECK, which I mentioned in the May entry. (And the collection of movie clips at the end of BAMBOOZLED leads me to believe a documentary would be fascinating. Since it looks like we'll never get one now, instead I'll recommend the book WHERE THE DEAD VOICES GATHER by Nick Tosches. It's not about movies, but it's a great history of that strange slice of pop culture all the same. (I watched a much better Spike Lee movie, 25th HOUR, back in July.)

A year before KING KONG, Fay Wray deals with another -- albeit much smaller -- movie monster in DOCTOR X.

Though THE RETURN OF DOCTOR X is a bland bore, memorable only for Humphrey Bogart's only appearance in a horror film, the original DOCTOR X is something special. For one thing, it's filmed in that old two-strip Technicolor style, which gives the whole film an eerie blue cast. It also has some great mad scientist mumbo jumbo and a genuinely creepy monster that shows up at the climax. As for the fade out, it's pretty wild, too -- though for a reason having nothing to do with horror. As the movie ends, Fay Wray and annoying comic relief Lee Tracy declare their love for each other. As they embrace and the screen goes black, he puts his ever-present joy buzzer ...well, he puts it somewhere, and Fay lets out a gasp. And you thought all those old movies were pure of heart.

One more segment to go, covering the last three months of 2006. By the way, if you see a movie mentioned on these lists that I don't discuss and you want to talk about it, mention it in the comments. I'd be happy to ramble on about any of these flicks.

The Third Coming of Let's All Go to the Movies, Part 2

APRIL

“Oh My Cops” (DTV3, Nanchang)
“Remember Last Night?” (TCM)
“New Police Story” (DVD)
“The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio” (InDemand Cable)

Not many movies this month, eh? Maybe that has to do with the fact that I spent the first couple of weeks of May in China, adopting my brand-new daughter, Allison, then spent the next few weeks back here in the States, adjusting to life with Allison. One of the biggest months of my life, but not a lotta time left for staring at the screen. Still, I managed to sneak a few in...

OH MY COPS was caught during an Allison nap on the movie channel our Nanchang hotel thankfully got. I watched snippets of a few Hong Kong classics, including A CHINESE GHOST STORY, but this was the only one I saw all the way through. It was your typical HK cop movie, with goofy comedy playing off surprising violence. In other words, it was great. NEW POLICE STORY was one of the DVDs I bought in Guangzhou. I also bought A CHINESE GHOST STORY (after remembering how good it was after seeing that bit on TV), A BULLET IN THE HEAD, MR. VAMPIRE, POLICE STORY 3 and, for a change of pace, V FOR VENDETTA. All bootlegs, of course, but aside from V, the quality was excellent and the total came to about 12 bucks, American. Not bad, eh? As for NEW POLICE STORY, it was OK, but a tad too slick and mean-spirited -- and not enough Jackie Chan!

PRIZE WINNER was so so, something Amy wanted to watch after reading the book. And REMEMBER LAST NIGHT is worth watching for the first 15 minutes or so, where the rich main characters get drunk and act amazingly stupid. After that, it's nothing special.

MAY

Just because it's historically important doesn't mean it's any good.

“The Jazz Singer” (TCM)
“Babyface” (TCM)
“MST3K: The Sinister Urge” (DVD)
“Fight for Your Life” (DVD)
“Check and Double Check” (TCM)
“The Squid and the Whale” (InDemand Cable)
“Stephen Tobolowsky’s Birthday Party” (DVD)
“Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” (DVD)
“Q The Winged Serpent” (DVD)

The May lineup looked so eclectic I couldn't see any connection between the movies, then I spotted an unfortunate one: THE JAZZ SINGER and CHECK AND DOUBLE CHECK both feature the long, lost art of blackface. THE JAZZ SINGER is one of those classics I've always heard about but never seen, and it's not good. Racial content aside, it's deadly dull and Jolson is at least 20 years to old for the role he's playing. Plus, that style of drama (OK, melodrama -- with a capital M) is far too dated to connect with today. I realize it revolutionized the movie industriy, but it's a lousy film. CHECK AND DOUBLE CHECK is even worse, an Amos and Andy movie made to cash in on the radio show and featuring the stars, Freeman Godson and Charles Correll. It seems to take place in an alternate universe where none of the other characters notice Amos and Andy are actually a couple of white guys in makeup. About the only reason to watch it -- aside from the weird historical angle, which, admittedly, is pretty interesting -- is for Duke Ellington, who performs. God only knows what he really thought of it.

As for the rest, the most memorable movie of the month was FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE, a wild exploitation movie that features a pretty strong racial angle of its own and stars William Sanderson (who played Larry on NEWHART and E.B. on DEADWOOD) as the oily villain.

JUNE

“Syrianna” (DVD)
“Boom Town” (DVD)
“Dancing Lady” (DVD)
“China Seas” (DVD)
“Genuine Nerd” (DVD)
“My Dad is 100 Years Old” (Sundance Film Channel)
“Sh! The Octopus” (TCM)
“Way…Way Out” (Fox Movie Channel)
“Barry Lyndon” (DVD)
"San Francisco” (DVD)
“Mogambo” (DVD)
“Putney Swope” (DVD)
“Night Waitress” (TCM)
“The Devil’s Backbone” (IFC)
“G-Men” (DVD)
“Bullets or Ballots” (DVD)
“Each Dawn I Die” (DVD)
“City for Conquest” (DVD)
“San Quentin” (DVD)

Can you guess which Warner Brothers DVD sets arrived this month? BOOM TOWN, DANCING LADY, CHINA SEAS, SAN FRANCISCO and MOGAMBO were all part of the Clark Gable box, and G-MEN, BULLETS OR BALLOTS, EACH DAWN I DIE, CITY FOR CONQUEST and SAN QUENTIN were in the Tough Guys box. (The sets also included WIFE VS. SECRETARY and A SLIGHT CASE OF MURDER, but I didn't watch those in their entirety.)

Most of the movies in the Gable box, truth to tell, aren't that great, but Gable's million-watt charisma carries the day. He plays basically the same character in every film -- a smiling rascal willing to do what it takes to get ahead, but with a certain all-American decency at his core. He wasn't the world's greatest actor, but he was one of the world's great stars, and this set -- mediocre as the movies are -- shows why. CHINA SEAS does have one of my all-time favorite movie moments, though, and it doesn't even involve Gable: Robert Benchley playing a constantly soused passenger on Gable's ship, makes this drunken boast: "See that chess game over there? When I was four years old, I played 10 people all at once." Pause. "Blindfolded." Another pause. "Lost every game." Classic. Also, DANCING LADY does give you the rare chance to see Gable and co-star Joan Crawford share some scenes with none other than Larry, Curly and Moe. Try finding them in GONE WITH THE WIND!

The great Cagney in CITY FOR CONQUEST.

The TOUGH GUYS set is much better. EACH DAWN I DIE, BULLETS OR BALLOTS and G-MEN are all fine ol' films, powered by the star-power of Jimmy Cagney and/or Edward G. Robinson and lots of deadly gunfire. SAN QUENTIN is a lot milder, with Pat O'Brien in the lead role and a pre-stardom Humphrey Bogart as the guy trying to go good. The highlight of the set is probably CITY FOR CONQUEST, a strange, arty sort of urban melodrama/social statement starring Jimmy Cagney as a boxer who gets blinded in the ring and Ann Sheridan as a dancer who gets paired up with a young Anthony Quinn (!). That only covers two of the dozens of plots, subplots and sub-subplots, plus Cagney has a brother composing a symphony to the city (New York, of course) and there's a wise homeless guy who acts as a one-bum Greek chorus, dropping bits of philosophy along the way. It's hopelessly overblown but a helluva lot of fun, and Cagney ties it all together. Highly recommended for fans of strange old movies.

GENUINE NERD director Wayne Harold (right) holds my daughter, Allison. She looks suitably nervous.

As for the rest: GENUINE NERD is a very entertaining documentary about "Genuine Nerd" Toby Radloff directed by my pal Wayne Harold -- swing by this site to order your own copy. MY DAD IS 100 YEARS OLD is a short by one of my favorite directors, Winnipeg's own Guy Maddin, featuring Isabella Rosellini playing several roles (including her mom, Ingrid Bergman, and Alfred Hitchcock) in a tribute to her director dad. WAY... WAY OUT is one of Jerry Lewis' more "adult" films, with a plot involving him and Connie Stevens as two astronauts who get married so they can go to the moon and, well, you know. Dick Shawn and Anita Ekberg play the Russians who are already there, and Linda "Nova" Harrison has a small part in the beginning, but it's really not very funny. Though, as with all of Jerry's movies, it's oddly fascinating -- to me, anyway. And SH! THE OCTOPUS is a goofy old horror comedy, worth watching just for the split-second scene where the villain is unmasked, which ranks about the creepiest moments in horror movie history. No kidding -- but good luck seeing it.

Hey! A good TV show!

Tonight, THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY made its debut on ABC. I remember hearing about this back when it was called LET'S ROB JEFF GOLDBLUM, then after Jeff signed on for another show, the program changed targets and titles to become LET'S ROB MICK JAGGER, then the title got switched (but the target remained the same) and we ended up with what we got, THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY.

I liked it. A lot. I hope it doesn't die a quick death in the mid-season ratings, because it has an interesting story to tell, and from the looks of the pilot, plans to tell it in a funny, offbeat way. Here are a dozen things I liked about the show right off the top of my head.

1. Donal Logue. I've liked the guy ever since I saw him in THE TAO OF STEVE and, even before that, as the hapless henchman in BLADE. He's got that classic everyman quality, plus he's damned funny and manages to seem both smart and stupid at the same time. He's the perfect actor to lead this cast.

2. His crew. A funny bunch of guys led by Lenny Venito, who's been in a million things, including playing Christopher's half-assed sponsor on THE SOPRANOS. They're a solid bunch of bickering misfits, which is exactly what you want on a show like this.

3. The fact that they have an intern helping them out for course credit. Reminds me of the SEINFELD episode where "Kramerica Enterprises" got an intern.

4. The scene with the laser pointer. I would've bet money you couldn't make me laugh at a laser pointer gag in 2007, but when Venito shined it on Logue's ass, then Logue got made and used it to point out the "Focus" motivational poster? I was laughing out loud. (Use that quote on an ad, ABC!)

5. The fact that not only does Logue say they can't change the name, he already ordered the T-shirts, but we see them in those cheap-looking shirts (see above) several times. As a corollary, I also liked the whole name debate, including the suggestions to name the crew "The Jedi Knights" and, mysteriously, "Batman."

6. Sofia Vergara. She is, as they say, easy on the eyes. Plus, she brought all those guns.

7. The fake discussion about "The Bridges of Madison County" -- "I liked the bridges, and Madison was a nice county." (These quotes are far from verbatum folks. Sorry.)

8. The opening with the ill-fated janitor who, when asked for wisdom, replied "What am I? Morgan Freeman? I've been drunk since the bicentennial."

9. Mick himself, playing the rich rock star role to the hilt on several E! interludes.

10. The last scene, where we see that merely stealing the apartment key is one very small step toward actually getting into the apartment. I sure hope this show lasts, because these guys have a lot of work ahead of them.

11. The fact that Donal Logue has that old Loni Anderson poster in his apartment.

12. The lettering on the title. Very nice -- and very '70s, but in a way that hasn't been done nine million times.

If you watched THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY (and, upon further review, I decided I do like that title after all), post a comment here and let me know what you thought of it. And if you didn't, you can catch the first "act" here. I'm sure they'll post the whole ep somewhere on ABC's site soon. If and when they do, I'll update this page and include a link. It's definitely worth a look.

The Third Coming of Let's All Go to the Movies, Part 1

For the third year in a row, I took the geek route and kept track of every single movie I saw from Jan. 1 to Dec. 31, whether it was a new release, old DVD or something I stumbled onto on the tube. The only qualification was I had to have watched it from beginning to end (though not necessarily in a single sitting). You can read the 2004 roundup here, the 2005 roundup here, and this is how 2006 looked from my perspective...

JANUARY

“Millions” (InDemand Cable)
“Munich” (theater)
“Death Dream/Dead of Night” (DVD)
“The Jacket” (DVD)
“My Big, Fat Independent Movie” (DVD)
“Godfathers of Mondo” (DVD)
“Million Dollar Baby” (DVD)
“Spartan” (InDemand Cable)
“The Big House” (TCM)
“The Big Heat” (TCM)
“The Emperor Jones” (TCM)
“Wedding Crashers” (DVD)
“Serenity” (DVD)
“Lord of War” (DVD)
“Female Convict Scorpion: Beast Stable” (DVD)
“The Beast of the City” (TCM)
“Taxi!” (TCM)
“Capote” (theater)
“Force of Evil” (TCM)
“The Girl Hunters” (TCM)
“20,000 Years in Sing Sing” (TCM)
“Hell’s Highway” (TCM)
“I Married a Witch” (TCM)
"All the President's Men" (DVD)
“Boys Town” (DVD)

Jeez, did I see a lot of movies this month -- most of them fairly forgettable and most of them (though not necessarily the fairly forgettable ones) on Turner Classic Movies. Spielberg's MUNICH was pretty good up until the last scene, when Steven had the amazingly boneheaded idea of intercutting the much-anticipated massacre sequence with a scene of Eric Bana having sex with his wife. Excuse me, but huh? MILLION DOLLAR BABY was OK, but nothing special, and CAPOTE was well made, but has pretty much slipped from my memory. This seems to be the pattern -- heavily hyped, Oscar-nominated films are fine while you're watching them, but don't leave much of an impression. On the other hand, an obscure horror film like DEATH DREAM or a forgotten Mike Hammer melodrama (starring Mickey Spillane himself as Hammer) like THE GIRL HUNTERS are the movies I keep thinking about -- and the movies I have the urge to watch again. Have I become jaded? Or have movies become dull? My money's on choice No. 2.

By the way, in the great WEDDING CRASHERS versus FORTY-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN debate, I come down squarely on the side of VIRGIN. I thought WEDDING CRASHERS was boring and bland, and ironically contained very little actual wedding crashing. I've seen VIRGIN four or five times (it runs constantly on HBO) and get a chuckle every time.

Oh, and FEMALE CONVICT SCORPION: BEAST STABLE and BEAST OF THE CITY have nothing to do with each other. Except they're both pretty good movies. And they both deliver plenty of killing.

MY BIG FAT INDEPENDENT MOVIE, though I saw it way back in January, was the worst movie of the year. Don't be fooled into thinking it might be funny. It's not.

FEBRUARY

“Men of Boys Town” (DVD)
“Junebug” (DVD)
“Shampoo” (TCM)
“Kamikaze Girls” (DVD)
“Dog Day Afternoon” (DVD)
“Flightplan” (DVD)
“Shaun of the Dead” (HBO)
"Class of 1984" (DVD)
“The Lavender Hill Mob” (TCM)
“Red Eye” (DVD)
“Dream on Silly Dreamer” (DVD)
“Demonlover” (Sundance Film Channel)
“Vice Squad” (DVD)
“The Royal Tenenbaums” (DVD)
“Brokeback Mountain” (theater)
“Vanilla Sky” (DVD)
“Alice in Acidland” (DVD)
“Manhattan Melodrama” (TCM)
“Mrs. Harris” (HBO)
“Good Night, And Good Luck” (DVD)

The only theatrical excusion this month was BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, which I thought was pretty good (thanks largely to Heath Ledger's performance) and certainly better than the shameless CRASH, which beat it for the Oscar. FLIGHTPLAN and RED EYE, the two women-in-jeopardy-on-an-airplane films left me cold, especially RED EYE, which people were calling Wes Craven's "return to form," but the truth is, this late in the game, I'm not sure if he has any form left to return to. I mean, he seems like a bright, funny guy in interviews and on DVD extras, but what's he really done? The original NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET only looks good in comparison to the crap that followed, SCREAM succeeds because of the script, not the direction, and LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT is almost completely undone by the "comic relief" of the cops. Plus, RED EYE committed the cardinal sin of letting someone other than the heroine beat the villain -- Brian Cox stepped in and saved her. What was that? (And I'm a big Brian Cox fan.) Disappointing, disappointing.

Tim Van Patten, former WHITE SHADOW cast member and current SOPRANOS director as the sensitive psychopath in CLASS OF 1984.

Relived a bit of my mispent youth sneaking late-night Cinemax movies with the DVD releases of CLASS OF 1984 and VICE SQUAD, two surprisingly sleazy exploitation movies of the '80s -- they're both much nastier than I remembered, and more entertaining for it. DREAM ON SILLY DREAMER was a heartfelt film about Disney closing down its animation division that I watched for a newspaper story and ended up really enjoying -- you can read more about it here. And once again, I saw down for my annual viewing of VANILLA SKY, I movie I don't really like but remain fascinated by. I'm not sure what the explanation is -- maybe I do like it. I'll let you know next year, since I'm bound to watch it at least once in 2007.

MARCH

“The Spy Who Came in from the Cold” (TCM)
“Lady and the Tramp” (DVD)
“Footlight Parade” (DVD)
“Dames” (DVD)
“Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit” (DVD)
“42nd Street” (DVD)
"The Fortune Cookie" (TCM)
“Bell, Book and Candle” (TCM)
“The Apartment” (DVD)
“The Gong Show Movie” (Sundance)
“V for Vendetta” (theater)
“I Love You Again” (TCM)
“DOA” (TCM)
“The Horn Blows at Midnight” (TCM)
"Elizabethtown” (United Flight 829)
“Fever Pitch” “(United Flight 829)

The great Joan Blondell belts out "My Forgotten Man" at the end of "Gold Diggers of 1933," which isn't on this list but still sums up the weird magic of Busby Berkeley.

Another big movie month, but those last two films on the list -- and, more to the point, their viewing locations -- should be a clue as to why April's list was a hell of a lot shorter.

The movie highlight of the month -- and hell, one of the movie highlights of the year -- was the release of Warner Bros. Busby Berkeley set, which included my viewings of DAMES, 42ND STREET and (my favorite) FOOTLIGHT PARADE (with Jimmy Cagney). The set also contained GOLD DIGGERS OF 1933 and GOLD DIGGERS OF 1935, both of which I've seen before, and a great compilation disc of Berkely numbers. This is mind-blowing stuff kids, at least as visually wild and imaginative as anything made in the last 50 years. Highly, highly, highly recommended.

As for the rest, I reviewed V FOR VENDETTA in March and still consider it one of the best movies I saw in theaters all year. THE GONG SHOW MOVIE is almost legendary in its difficulty to see, but don't waste the effort. It's long, laborious and embarrassingly self-indulgent. Stick with the much better CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND instead. And as for those two last movies, ELIZABETHTOWN was worse than I expected, but FEVER PITCH was better. Made it was just the fact that any remotely entertaining moving image was salvation right about then. See, United Flight 829 was a straight shot (15 hours!) from Chicago to Hong Kong, where Amy and I were headed to pick up our brand new daughter, Allison. As I said, April's movie list is shorter. A lot shorter. I'll post it -- along with the months of May and June -- here tomorrow.