To wash the taste of that Karl Rove video out of your brain, here's some (no kidding) brilliant TV comedy. It's the never-aired pilot of LOOKWELL, which starred Adam West as a washed up TV detective who solves actual crimes. From the minds of Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel, it's 22 of the funniest minutes you've ever seen. And West is nothing short of brilliant in it. Seriously.
By the way, that's Todd Field, director of LITTLE CHILDREN and IN THE BEDROOM (and actor from EYES WIDE SHUT) playing the hapless Jason.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Buy my comics, make me rich: CATWOMAN #65 (and the new WIZARD)
The new issue of CATWOMAN hit the stands today, wrapping up the thrilling three-part "Paperweight" story, where our heroine braves Metropolis, multiple robots and other assorted dangers to steal a worthless snow globe. Thrill! Chills! Snow!
Curious? There's a preview of the issue here (scroll down -- it's under the WONDER WOMAN and JLA previews.) Give it a look, then pick up the issue itself. It's definitely one of the more action-packed stories I've written, and Selina is in fine, thievin' and fightin' form.
And while you're at your local comic book shop, pick up a copy of the latest WIZARD magazine. Inside you'll find an honest-to-god profile of yours truly by Danny Spiegel. Among the things you'll find within its pages:
* An old VIOLENT MAN splash page written -- and drawn -- by me.
* A new Violent Man meets Wonder Woman art drawn -- much better, needless to say -- by AMAZONS ATTACK artist extraordinaire Pete Woods.
* The secret reason I keep my day job. (Hint: It rhymes with "medical benefits.")
* Lots of people calling me a smart-ass.
Really, what more could you want in reading material? Pick up your copy (I chose the version with GRINDHOUSE gal Rose McGowan slutting it up, natch!) today. And tell 'em the smart ass who writes CATWOMAN sent ya!
Curious? There's a preview of the issue here (scroll down -- it's under the WONDER WOMAN and JLA previews.) Give it a look, then pick up the issue itself. It's definitely one of the more action-packed stories I've written, and Selina is in fine, thievin' and fightin' form.And while you're at your local comic book shop, pick up a copy of the latest WIZARD magazine. Inside you'll find an honest-to-god profile of yours truly by Danny Spiegel. Among the things you'll find within its pages:
* An old VIOLENT MAN splash page written -- and drawn -- by me.
* A new Violent Man meets Wonder Woman art drawn -- much better, needless to say -- by AMAZONS ATTACK artist extraordinaire Pete Woods.
* The secret reason I keep my day job. (Hint: It rhymes with "medical benefits.")
* Lots of people calling me a smart-ass.
Really, what more could you want in reading material? Pick up your copy (I chose the version with GRINDHOUSE gal Rose McGowan slutting it up, natch!) today. And tell 'em the smart ass who writes CATWOMAN sent ya!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
In which our writer reveals a young geek crush and analyzes the title sequences of not one but two incarnations of 'Buck Rogers in the 25th Century'
This week, the Onion A.V. Club pays tribute to some of the most memorable opening credit sequences in TV history (yes, they apparently have plenty of time on their hands, too). Among the classy choices -- THE SOPRANOS, FREAKS AND GEEKS, HILL STREET BLUES -- there's this cheesy gem...
Nice, eh? I was 12 when that TV show hit the airwaves, and even though I could sense it was definitely sub STAR WARS, I still loved it. It had space ships, lasers, robots and Erin Gray in a skintight spandex "uniform." Like every young geek, I had a big time crush on Col. Wilma Deering, and she still looks pretty good in that clip. A couple of years ago, both she and Gil "Buck Rogers" Gerard were signing autographs at the Wizard World Convention in Chicago. If I could've told the 12-year-old version of me that I could've met both Wilma and Buck face to face, my head probably would've exploded.
Thing is, that wasn't the only opening credits to BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY. In a moment of amazingly naked greed, the studio behind BUCK decided to take that cheap-o TV pilot and slip it briefly into theaters so suckers like me would actually pay money to see it instead of just watching it for free a few months later. That version of the pilot had a very different opening, one that combined elements of a James Bond title sequence, the opening of BARBARELLA and any Cinemax movie ever aird. As a bonus, if you ever said to yourself "That theme music from BUCK ROGERS is good, but I wish there were some lyrics...", well, your dream has just come true. Enjoy!
That could only have come out of the magical era that was the late 1970s. I mean, BUCK ROGERS was aimed at kids (the only audience undiscriminating enough to enjoy such a low-budget, goofy show/movie), but those credits are obviously targeted at an older audience. You get Pamela Hensley and Erin Gray, both who actually appear in the movie (though only Hensley is as slutty as she appears here -- Gray would have to wait for the crazed, classic "Space Vampire" episode of the series to play the dirty girl.) You also get an assorted other space tramps, some wearing futuristic space sunglasses, who leer at the camera, slide down the letters and/or fall into a passionate clinch with Our Hero Buck. More than once, in fact.
While the TV credits have a fairly cool visual scheme (Buck falling through time), the movie credits are All About Sex -- Buck's 500 year sleep as a five century erotic fever dream -- or at least a disco-era designer's idea of what a five century erotic fever dream would be. I vaguely remember watching this in the theater and thinking it was pretty weird. When I found the clip almost 30 years later (thanks, You Tube!), I was surprised how much it had burned itself into my head. Sci fi and sex. It's a potent combination. Just look at all the nerds who obsess over Princess Leia in the RETURN OF THE JEDI slave girl outfit.
That getup never did much for me. For one thing, I was 16 when JEDI came out, and even at that age I saw the slave girl outfit as a little sad and a little desperate, Lucasfilm's attempt to inject sex into a kids' movie franchise. It didn't work, partly because it was a dumb idea, and partly because Carrie Fisher (to her credit, I suppose) looked so damned uncomfortable in it. She's a pretty savvy customer, and I'm sure she knew how stupid an idea it was to make the Princess into a sex object.
But the ladies of Buck? That show (and movie) was aimed at both the kids who loved the spaceships and robots and the dads who were forced to sit through it -- but nonetheless appreciated the effort the producers made by dressing everyone in spandex. Maybe that's why it worked so much better here than in JEDI. It might've been stupid and silly, but it knew what it was. And though maybe all involved should've been at least a little embarrassed, they weren't.
Not even during that movie credit sequence. Wow. That took guts.
Nice, eh? I was 12 when that TV show hit the airwaves, and even though I could sense it was definitely sub STAR WARS, I still loved it. It had space ships, lasers, robots and Erin Gray in a skintight spandex "uniform." Like every young geek, I had a big time crush on Col. Wilma Deering, and she still looks pretty good in that clip. A couple of years ago, both she and Gil "Buck Rogers" Gerard were signing autographs at the Wizard World Convention in Chicago. If I could've told the 12-year-old version of me that I could've met both Wilma and Buck face to face, my head probably would've exploded.
Thing is, that wasn't the only opening credits to BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY. In a moment of amazingly naked greed, the studio behind BUCK decided to take that cheap-o TV pilot and slip it briefly into theaters so suckers like me would actually pay money to see it instead of just watching it for free a few months later. That version of the pilot had a very different opening, one that combined elements of a James Bond title sequence, the opening of BARBARELLA and any Cinemax movie ever aird. As a bonus, if you ever said to yourself "That theme music from BUCK ROGERS is good, but I wish there were some lyrics...", well, your dream has just come true. Enjoy!
That could only have come out of the magical era that was the late 1970s. I mean, BUCK ROGERS was aimed at kids (the only audience undiscriminating enough to enjoy such a low-budget, goofy show/movie), but those credits are obviously targeted at an older audience. You get Pamela Hensley and Erin Gray, both who actually appear in the movie (though only Hensley is as slutty as she appears here -- Gray would have to wait for the crazed, classic "Space Vampire" episode of the series to play the dirty girl.) You also get an assorted other space tramps, some wearing futuristic space sunglasses, who leer at the camera, slide down the letters and/or fall into a passionate clinch with Our Hero Buck. More than once, in fact.
While the TV credits have a fairly cool visual scheme (Buck falling through time), the movie credits are All About Sex -- Buck's 500 year sleep as a five century erotic fever dream -- or at least a disco-era designer's idea of what a five century erotic fever dream would be. I vaguely remember watching this in the theater and thinking it was pretty weird. When I found the clip almost 30 years later (thanks, You Tube!), I was surprised how much it had burned itself into my head. Sci fi and sex. It's a potent combination. Just look at all the nerds who obsess over Princess Leia in the RETURN OF THE JEDI slave girl outfit.
That getup never did much for me. For one thing, I was 16 when JEDI came out, and even at that age I saw the slave girl outfit as a little sad and a little desperate, Lucasfilm's attempt to inject sex into a kids' movie franchise. It didn't work, partly because it was a dumb idea, and partly because Carrie Fisher (to her credit, I suppose) looked so damned uncomfortable in it. She's a pretty savvy customer, and I'm sure she knew how stupid an idea it was to make the Princess into a sex object.
But the ladies of Buck? That show (and movie) was aimed at both the kids who loved the spaceships and robots and the dads who were forced to sit through it -- but nonetheless appreciated the effort the producers made by dressing everyone in spandex. Maybe that's why it worked so much better here than in JEDI. It might've been stupid and silly, but it knew what it was. And though maybe all involved should've been at least a little embarrassed, they weren't.
Not even during that movie credit sequence. Wow. That took guts.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
The songs of the soundtrack of the movie of my life
Got this meme from my old pal Nik Dirga (now living in New Zealand, but still posting at his pop culture blog, Spatula Forum). It's called "If your life was a movie, what would the soundtrack be?," and here's how it works:
1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5 . When you go to a new question, press the next button 6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
Here's what I got. As you can see, my iPod is home to some rather eclectic selections. (Mae West? Mae West?!?)
Opening credits: "Calling All Destroyers," Tsar -- I like it. A fast, driving rocker from one of my favorite bands. This gets the movie off to a fine start.
Waking up: "She's My Witch," Kip Tyler -- Old rockabilly novelty rock, with a great grimy guitar opening that could accompany scenes of me dragging my ass out of bed. But who's the witch? I have no idea, except for the fact that, as Kip says, "she's the chick with the wicked twitch."
First day of school: "Animal Boy," Ramones -- I'd be crushed if there wasn't at least one Ramones tune on the soundtrack, so the fates were kind to me. And "Animal Boy" works well for the scary scene where a young Will walks into school for the first time.
Falling in love: "Sixteen Blue," The Replacements -- Likewise, the 'Mats had to be included somewhere. Personally, I'd choose "Valentine" or "Kiss Me on the Bus" for a love song, but this'll work.
First love song: "Persuance," John Coltrane -- At least, I think it'll work better than this. I mean, I love Coltrane, but this cut from "A Love Surpreme" isn't really going to work for that "first love" montage ... or will it?
Breaking up: "Exciting Chase Sequence" Fred Katz, from the original "Little Shop of Horrors" -- This I like, in a completely oddball way. It's all jittery jazz, originally used for the scenes where Seymour Krelboin is running through Skid Row, dodging cops and hiding (in a memorable shot) inside a toilet in a junkyard. But I could see it work for a break-up scene, too.
Prom: "Lazy River," Louis Prima -- Really? Did kids ever dance to Louis at prom, and if so, did they ever dance to this song? Seems unlikely.
Mental Breakdown: "Hit the Floor," Earthquake -- '70s power pop from the all-but-forgotten band Earthquake. It's actually about dancing (and, of course, sex, same as every pop song recorded). Not exactly a gone crazy classic like the New York Dolls' "Personality Crisis" or the Modern Lovers' "She Cracked," but hell, I didn't pick it.
Driving: "Skunk (Sonically Speaking)" MC5 -- One of the band's more, shall we say, dissonant recordings, it actually sounds like it might work if that drive ended in a ten-car, multiple fatality collision. But, as with all the band's songs, it definitely rocks. The guitars during the bridge could fuel a dozen car chases at least.
Flashback: "Five Years," David Bowie -- Wow. Perfect. I mean, this "Ziggy Stardust" tune is really about five years into the future (when it all ends) and not the past, but the sense of melancholy and the strange imagery is so evocative it'd add emotional punch to any flashback. And Bowie does tell most of it in the past tense. "News guy wept and told us Earth was really dying. Cried so much his fact was wet, then I knew he was not lying." That Bowie could really write some lyrics, couldn't he?
Getting back together: "Hey Now, Hey Now," Cab Calloway -- Cheery and upbeat, which is what the movie's gonna need after the bleakness of that last cut. And hell, who doesn't love Cab Calloway?
Wedding: "Mr. Freeze" by Neal Hefti and his Orchestra, from the soundtrack of the "Batman" TV series -- Strangely enough, it actually has a repetitive, droning quality that could sort of, almost work as a wedding march. A grim, disturbing wedding march, to be sure, but a wedding march nonetheless.
Birth of Child: "Vampira," Bobby Bare -- Well, they do suck the life out of you, don't they? Great cheesy horror-themed rockabilly tune, incidentally.
Final Battle: "Scene of the Crime," Andre Previn, from the "Murder is My Beat" CD -- Originally from this movie, which I've never seen, it's a nice slice of ominous noir music. Not exactly a rock 'em sock 'em cut, but there are some dramatic strings in there and at least one gunshot. It really sounds more like the scene where the cops drag me, kicking and screaming, to my date with the electric chair.
Death Scene: "Criswell Predicts," Mae West -- Perfect. Perfect. Couldn't pick anything better. In fact, I hope this is the song I hear as I lay dying. Hell, I'm putting it in my living will! "And if Criswell predicts it -- you can bet it comes true!"
Funeral song: "You Tried to Warn Me," Piero Umiliani, from the sountrack to "Inferno E Paradiso" -- Not bad. Stringy Euro-cheese with breathy vocals from some forgotten female vocalists, all with a certain cool, downbeat quality, like a James Bond theme that never quite made it.
End Credits: "The Faith Healer," Redd Kross -- Upbeat power pop to send the audience out on a high note. And hell, given the mystical lyrics -- "restore your soul from rags...bring you happiness forever" -- maybe I'm coming back from the dead. Get set for a sequel.
1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5 . When you go to a new question, press the next button 6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
Here's what I got. As you can see, my iPod is home to some rather eclectic selections. (Mae West? Mae West?!?)
Opening credits: "Calling All Destroyers," Tsar -- I like it. A fast, driving rocker from one of my favorite bands. This gets the movie off to a fine start.
Waking up: "She's My Witch," Kip Tyler -- Old rockabilly novelty rock, with a great grimy guitar opening that could accompany scenes of me dragging my ass out of bed. But who's the witch? I have no idea, except for the fact that, as Kip says, "she's the chick with the wicked twitch."
First day of school: "Animal Boy," Ramones -- I'd be crushed if there wasn't at least one Ramones tune on the soundtrack, so the fates were kind to me. And "Animal Boy" works well for the scary scene where a young Will walks into school for the first time.Falling in love: "Sixteen Blue," The Replacements -- Likewise, the 'Mats had to be included somewhere. Personally, I'd choose "Valentine" or "Kiss Me on the Bus" for a love song, but this'll work.
First love song: "Persuance," John Coltrane -- At least, I think it'll work better than this. I mean, I love Coltrane, but this cut from "A Love Surpreme" isn't really going to work for that "first love" montage ... or will it?
Breaking up: "Exciting Chase Sequence" Fred Katz, from the original "Little Shop of Horrors" -- This I like, in a completely oddball way. It's all jittery jazz, originally used for the scenes where Seymour Krelboin is running through Skid Row, dodging cops and hiding (in a memorable shot) inside a toilet in a junkyard. But I could see it work for a break-up scene, too.
Prom: "Lazy River," Louis Prima -- Really? Did kids ever dance to Louis at prom, and if so, did they ever dance to this song? Seems unlikely.
Mental Breakdown: "Hit the Floor," Earthquake -- '70s power pop from the all-but-forgotten band Earthquake. It's actually about dancing (and, of course, sex, same as every pop song recorded). Not exactly a gone crazy classic like the New York Dolls' "Personality Crisis" or the Modern Lovers' "She Cracked," but hell, I didn't pick it.
Driving: "Skunk (Sonically Speaking)" MC5 -- One of the band's more, shall we say, dissonant recordings, it actually sounds like it might work if that drive ended in a ten-car, multiple fatality collision. But, as with all the band's songs, it definitely rocks. The guitars during the bridge could fuel a dozen car chases at least.
Flashback: "Five Years," David Bowie -- Wow. Perfect. I mean, this "Ziggy Stardust" tune is really about five years into the future (when it all ends) and not the past, but the sense of melancholy and the strange imagery is so evocative it'd add emotional punch to any flashback. And Bowie does tell most of it in the past tense. "News guy wept and told us Earth was really dying. Cried so much his fact was wet, then I knew he was not lying." That Bowie could really write some lyrics, couldn't he?
Getting back together: "Hey Now, Hey Now," Cab Calloway -- Cheery and upbeat, which is what the movie's gonna need after the bleakness of that last cut. And hell, who doesn't love Cab Calloway?
Wedding: "Mr. Freeze" by Neal Hefti and his Orchestra, from the soundtrack of the "Batman" TV series -- Strangely enough, it actually has a repetitive, droning quality that could sort of, almost work as a wedding march. A grim, disturbing wedding march, to be sure, but a wedding march nonetheless.
Birth of Child: "Vampira," Bobby Bare -- Well, they do suck the life out of you, don't they? Great cheesy horror-themed rockabilly tune, incidentally.
Final Battle: "Scene of the Crime," Andre Previn, from the "Murder is My Beat" CD -- Originally from this movie, which I've never seen, it's a nice slice of ominous noir music. Not exactly a rock 'em sock 'em cut, but there are some dramatic strings in there and at least one gunshot. It really sounds more like the scene where the cops drag me, kicking and screaming, to my date with the electric chair.
Death Scene: "Criswell Predicts," Mae West -- Perfect. Perfect. Couldn't pick anything better. In fact, I hope this is the song I hear as I lay dying. Hell, I'm putting it in my living will! "And if Criswell predicts it -- you can bet it comes true!"
Funeral song: "You Tried to Warn Me," Piero Umiliani, from the sountrack to "Inferno E Paradiso" -- Not bad. Stringy Euro-cheese with breathy vocals from some forgotten female vocalists, all with a certain cool, downbeat quality, like a James Bond theme that never quite made it.
End Credits: "The Faith Healer," Redd Kross -- Upbeat power pop to send the audience out on a high note. And hell, given the mystical lyrics -- "restore your soul from rags...bring you happiness forever" -- maybe I'm coming back from the dead. Get set for a sequel.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Go get 'em, Dino!
Can you ever have too much Dean Martin? No. No, you cannot.
This comes courtesy of the always fascinating If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger... site, and I've got no compelling reason for posting it except for the fact that it's one of the greatest album covers I've ever seen. I mean, just dig that expression on Dean's face. Was the man the epitome of cool or what? And he's from the same neck of the woods as me.
By the way, my favorite Dean and Jerry movie, ARTISTS AND MODELS, is finally set for a DVD release in June. Frank Tashlin directing, a plot revolving around comic books and Shirley MacLaine in a Batgirl costume? What more could you want in a movie?
Well, of course, the genius of the Jer. But you get that too, brother -- in spades!
This comes courtesy of the always fascinating If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger... site, and I've got no compelling reason for posting it except for the fact that it's one of the greatest album covers I've ever seen. I mean, just dig that expression on Dean's face. Was the man the epitome of cool or what? And he's from the same neck of the woods as me.By the way, my favorite Dean and Jerry movie, ARTISTS AND MODELS, is finally set for a DVD release in June. Frank Tashlin directing, a plot revolving around comic books and Shirley MacLaine in a Batgirl costume? What more could you want in a movie?
Well, of course, the genius of the Jer. But you get that too, brother -- in spades!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Say it ain't so, KNIGHTS!
I'd always known my new favorite show THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY, was on the brink of cancellation, and this article on TV Squad seemed to confirm my worst fears. According to the writer, quoting an ABC press release, the network was pulling the season's remaining shows and filling the gap with -- get ready for it -- reruns of ACCORDING TO JIM and THE GEORGE LOPEZ SHOW. Ugh.
I've been through this before with ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, falling in love with a smart, offbeat show, only to see it die and be replaced with more of the typical crap that fills the airwaves. But at least ARRESTED got three seasons (OK, two and a half) before the axe fell -- and at least those episode are all available on DVD. KNIGHTS only had a handful of episodes air, and the odds of it finding a home on DVD seem slim -- which is why I've been careful to burn my own copies.
But then came a ray of hope. According to this Variety article, there are four episodes (or "segs," as Variety annoyingly calls them) left to air, featuring Ray Romano as the Knights' next target. The piece also says the head of ABC is "high on the show," which could mean there's a chance it will return. Hopefully, with shows like THE OFFICE and MY NAME IS EARL taking a while to find their audiences, networks are learning to give low-rated-but-good shows a chance.
At tough times like this, I like to think back to a classic David Letterman bit called "They Took My Show Away," where Dave helps a boy overcome the trauma of VOYAGERS being cancelled. (The banner New York Times headline reads "NBC Cancels 'Voyagers' TV Show, To be Replaced by Better Program.") The kid works through his grief, tearing up a copy of TV Guide and telling Dave "I don't think I'll ever watch TV again!" (To which Dave sternly replies "Jimmy, don't ever say that. Not even as a joke.") Eventually, Dave lifts Jimmy's spirits by reading him the NBC fall schedule: "Oh, here's a show called 'Manimal' -- this one's about a crime fighter that can turn into a snake and a bird. And this one is about a chimp who lives in Washington. You know that'll be good. Jimmy, I don't think we'll have anything to be worried about."*
All I know is, I'd rather watch MANIMAL or MR. SMITH than that goddam ACCORDING TO JIM. So I'm asking you to pray for the Knights -- pray to the TV gods that they return to the airwaves to continue their lovably larcenous missions.
They'd do the same for you.
* Apologies to not linking to a video of this great bit, but there's nothing on You Tube. C'mon, obsessive copyright violators! You're letting me down! I actually had to read a recap on a VOYAGERS fan site!
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Help the Ministry of Information Help You!
I caught BRAZIL, one of my favorite movies, playing today on cable, and it reminded me of a poster I saw on the Web not long ago that seemed like a prop from the movie but, against all odds, was actually real...
According to the post over at Boing Boing, it's a genuine British government poster. Man, I'd kill for one of these. Orwellian or not, the design is really beautiful. Retro like an old paperback mystery cover, and with a gorgeous color sense. They've been around for awhile -- more info on them can be found here. I don't know if they're still around, but if so, anyone in London want to swipe me one? I'd be happy to pay for it. Just watch out for those all-seeing cameras!
According to the post over at Boing Boing, it's a genuine British government poster. Man, I'd kill for one of these. Orwellian or not, the design is really beautiful. Retro like an old paperback mystery cover, and with a gorgeous color sense. They've been around for awhile -- more info on them can be found here. I don't know if they're still around, but if so, anyone in London want to swipe me one? I'd be happy to pay for it. Just watch out for those all-seeing cameras!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
