Buy my comics, make me rich: AMAZONS ATTACK #2

AMAZONS ATTACK #2 hits the stands this week, probably delayed a day thanks to the Memorial Day holiday. This issue, the heroes finally arrive on the scene of battle. About time, eh? Those heroes, I tell ya, they're like buses. Never any around when you need 'em...

As before, Pete Woods has sacrificed the life of his drawing hand for you, the reader. Some of the battle scenes in here are nothing short of amazing. Hell, even if I wasn't writing it, I'd buy it just for the art.

There's going to be an "Inside Look" feature going up at BROKEN FRONTIER sometime this week . They were kind enough to let me ramble on about what went into this issue. It's the sort of thing I'm always interested in -- sort of a director's commentary for comic books. If you want a behind-the-scenes peek at AMAZONS ATTACK, it should be up your alley. I'll let you know when it's posted.

And, as always, any comments, questions or criticisms are welcome here. As long as you're relatively civil and sane, I'll be happy to respond.

WHAT was the name of that street again?

The violence and villains aren't the only thing that set DICK TRACY apart from other comic strips. There are the out-of-nowhere offbeat elements. Like this one, for instance...

Groin Street? GROIN STREET? What the hell? I mean, according to lore, DICK TRACY is supposedly set in Chicago, but as far as I can tell, there's no Groin Street in the Windy City -- or in any other city on the planet, for that matter. There's no Groin Avenue, Groin Road, Groin Parkway, Groin Boulevard or Groin Drive either. Apparently it's just more of the wild world of DICK TRACY.

I'm less than a third of the way through the book, so I'm pretty sure there will be more to come. Stay tuned.

That's gotta hurt

Lately, I've been enjoying the second volume of IDW's excellent DICK TRACY series, which collects all the daily and Sunday strips from May 1933 to January 1935. At this point, the strip still hasn't hit its stride yet, but it's getting there, and the stories of Tracy fighting run-of-the-mill criminals are getting closer and closer to the breathless theater of cruelty and grotesques that Chester Gould would achieve in just a few years.

It's still pretty bizarre, though, and as I've said before, the level of violence in DICK TRACY is stunning, especially compared with the bland array of dull that is the modern comics page. Here are a couple of panels from the June 21, 1933, strip, where vile criminals Steve The Tramp and Stooge Viller are interrogating the handyman of Hank Steele, the actual father of Tracy's young sidekick, Junior...

Pleasant, eh? Keep in mind that, a few days earlier when Hank Steele, Tracy and Junior were fleeing Steel's house to avoid the criminals, Steele told Tracy they should warn the handyman and his wife, who were due to return soon. Tracy's response? "Don't worry about that -- I'll let them know later!" Guess he forgot all about that.

Coming tomorrow: More vintage Dick Tracy goodness featuring the strangest street name in the history of comics.

And we're still dancing...

Normally, I'd never advocate watching "Hannity & Colmes" for any reason, but this clip is priceless. Author Christopher Hitchens stops by to defend his comments on Falwell, and religious con man Ralph Reed stands up for the bloated deceased hypocrite. I like how Hitchens never concedes anything to that idiot Hannity and how when Reed refers to Falwell as "Dr. Falwell," Hitchens repeats it in disbelief. Be sure to stick around for that last line -- it's a classic.

Still dancing on Jerry's grave

It's still fun to kick the dead horse of Jerry Falwell, isn't it? You bet it is!

Here, for your continuing amusement and edification, is "Faith-Based Fraud," a great column by Christopher Hitchens reminding us all what a hateful, horrible person Falwell was -- and how he got away with it because he had the word "reverend" in front of his name. I especially like how Hitchens refers to Falwell's body as a "carcass." Respect after death is for people who earned it while they were alive.

By the way, if you'd like to say any crazy thing that comes into your head and still be beloved by all, you can become a minister just like Jerry. Go here -- it only takes a few minutes, and you can print out your own (completely legal) certificate. Hallelujah!

Buy my comics, make me rich: CATWOMAN #67 and BATMAN BLACK AND WHITE Vol. 3

The new issue of CATWOMAN should be at your local comic shop today, and it's (as the kids say) a humdinger.

Hammer and Sickle continue their battle with Holly, then Selina gets involved, then a whole bunch of cops get involved, then... well, you get the idea. I'm pretty happy with this one -- it's action packed and never lets up.

By the way, there's a reference to the 1999 movie MAGNOLIA hidden someone in this comic's 22 pages. Let me know what it is via the comments section (and include your e-mail address) and you could win get some autographed swag from yours truly. I didn't even put the reference in, by the way. Artist David Lopez (apparently) did, but I'm such a big P.T. Anderson fan that I wanted to run with it. So read the comic, watch the DVD and send me your answers. I'll let everyone know if someone gets it.

Also out today is BATMAN BLACK AND WHITE Vol. 3, a nifty hardcover volume collecting dozens of the black-and-white backups from BATMAN: LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT. My story, a little salute to Gotham's glorious past called "Urban Renewal" has some beautiful art by Brent Anderson that, I thought, captured the delicate tone of the story perfectly. This short story is one of my favorites, so I'd urge you to give the book a try. And if you need help convincing you to shell out the $24.99, allow me to say it's a nice hardcover tome with work by such greats as Brian Azzarello, Hilary Barta, Ed Brubaker, Darwyn Cooke (his story with Bill Wray about a giant Batman statue is my favorite in the whole book), Michael Golden, Paul Grist, Geoff Johns, Mike Mignola, Sean Phillips and Jill Thompson.

What else are you going to spend your money on anyway? Food?

Hey, what about Pat Robertson? He's getting pretty old too, isn't he?

In a story significantly less depressing than the cancellation of THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY, televangelist Jerry Falwell has died at the age of 73.

Before the wave of endless hypocritcal eulogies begins, before our idiot president describes Falwell as "a devoted man of god" or some other bit of meaningless tripe, let's remember the real Jerry, the one who said this after 9/11:

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"

He also, in case you forgot, supported apartheid, said he hoped churches (Christian churches, natch!) would take over all the schools and claimed God is a Republican.

Jerry Falwell, dead at the age of 73. Too bad there's not really a hell. It'd really come in handy right about now.

Bad news for people who like things that are good

Well, ABC held its "upfronts" today, announcing what's staying, what's leaving and what's new for the fall TV season, and despite rumors to the contrary, it looks like the network will not be bringing back the best sitcom in years, THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY.

Apparently, that's to make room for such bits of cathode genius as a GRAY'S ANATOMY spinoff and some show from the House of Oprah. Thank god. That woman gets no TV time at all. I bet it will be really "empowering"! You, as they say, go girl.

I'll really miss KNIGHTS. I loved every episode that aired and was looking forward to a season of them trying to rob Ray Romano. At least I've got my DVR'd episodes to keep me happy.

And, on the bright side, ACCORDING TO JIM and THE GEORGE LOPEZ SHOW are both gone. I don't think I watched more than a few seconds of either show, but the sheer crappiness of both of them infected the entire programming schedule. On all the networks. And cable.

Meanwhile, to both cheer you up (because it's hilarious) and frustrate you (because it's from an episode that never aired), here's the KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY movie trailer for "Higher Powers." Enjoy!



What do you think? Best use of "Dream Weaver" ever? Man, if that doesn't make you miss KNIGHTS, you don't have a soul.

You make the call!

Which of these panels, taken from SHOWCASE PRESENTS SUPERMAN VOL . 3, is the greatest?

Answer: All of the above.