Viva Knievel!

Evel Knievel died Friday at the age of 69, and he didn't do it slamming into a concrete barrier or plunging into a tank of sharks or having a motorcycle blow up between his legs. He died after being gradually, painfully ground down by several longtime illnesses, including diabetes and idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, a lung disease.

When I was a kid in the mid 1970s, Evel Knievel was a big deal. A very big deal. Everyone in my neighborhood had one of his toys. Me? I had the break-apart stunt car, which had pieces that flew off when you rammed it into a wall. Do toys still promote that sort of reckless driving? Honestly, I have no idea, and sort of hope they do and sort of hope they don't.

As I recall, Evel was a constant presence on shows like ABC's WIDE WORLD OF SPORTS, which seemed tailor-made for his special brand of not-quite-athletic abilities. I remember when he made his much-hyped (and completely unsuccessful) attempt to jump Idaho's Snake River Canyon, and remember wanting one of the "sky cycle" toys that were released to tie-in to the event, which despite the disappointing outcome, was quite the media sensation.

Looking back, it's a little strange that Evel was so popular. He crashed as often as not, had (by his own admission) quite the rap sheet and made outrageous statements like "America was down on its ass when I came along, and it needed somebody who was truthful and honest, somebody who would spill blood and break bones and suffer brain concussions, someone who wasn't phony."

Maybe he was right. The 1970s were a strange time. CB radios were all the rage, kids collected empty beer cans and a guy like Evel Knievel became sort of a national hero. When I think back to that era, I remember bits of the Bicentennial hoopla, snippets of forgotten AM radio hits like "Do You Wanna Make Love" and "Beach Baby," flashes of strange TV programs like "The Captain and Tennille Show" and "Quark" and how everyone was crazy about sharks for awhile. (Guess why?) I also remember Evel Knievel -- mostly because (a) he was everywhere, and (b) the idea of a guy jumping things with a motorcycle was (and, I'm guessing, still is) intensely appealing to boys. In the years before I discovered comic books, STAR WARS and CRACKED magazine, Evel and his antics filled the pop culture void quite nicely, thank you.

If Evel was starting his career now, it wouldn't work. Given a 21st century makeover, his act would be too slick, and the hype would have a professional sheen that would clash with the brutal but brilliant simplicity of the concept: Evel jumped stuff. School buses, trucks, shark tanks, canyons -- you name it. That's it. He sat on a motorcycle, gunned the engine and rode up a ramp, hoping he'd have enough speed to clear whatever oddball obstacle was in front of him. If he did, great. If he didn't, too bad. Either way, he'd be on the news that night.

And that is why Evel was so big. Not because he was "truthful and honest" (for one thing, "Evel" was not, as you might have guessed, his real name -- though it is a great one, with the same unforgettable rhythm as Englebert Humperdinck), but because he was just as phony, tacky, loud and bullheaded as America can be -- and definitely was in the 1970s. Gas prices were through the roof, the economy sucked, the president had left office in scandal and most major cities were hellholes, but at least some high school dropout with a made-up name that rhymed could climb on a bike, zoom up a plywood ramp and risk killing himself to get on TV.

In other words, he might not have died for our sins, but he sure took one hell of a beating. Rest in peace, Evel. You earned it.

I'll bet there's a sugarcube in these pictures somewhere

Sure, we all know that the WATCHMEN movie could end up sucking, but if these shots from the set don't get your comic book geek juices flowing just a little, well then my friend, you don't have a soul.

I mean, in all the talk about casting the costumed characters, I never realized we'd also get the grumpy newstand dealer and the kid who reads THE BLACK FREIGHTER. Or, for that matter, get to see Treasure Island, the store that sells those pirate comics and action figures that are all the rage...

Notice the ad for Gunga Diner in the background? Well, here's the restaurant itself...

Right about now you're saying "But what about Rorshach? I wanna see Rorshach? Well, fanboy, here he is -- but it's the political poster behind him that I find more intriguing...

I realize I'm just setting myself up for disappointment, but hopes are now officially (and tenatively) up for the movie. I haven't seen 300 yet (You haven't seen 300 yet?!?! No, I haven't seen 300 yet), but I did like Zack Snyder's DAWN OF THE DEAD remake, and that's coming from a huge fan of the original. His heart's definitely in the right place on this movie, so who knows? I'd say some of the things that make WATCHMEN the masterpiece it is are things you can only do in comics, but I'm dying to see it on the big screen just the same.

One more thing: In the first photo, is that the Rumrunner bar, complete with the symmetrical logo peeking out at the bottom, as seen in the legendarily symmetrical WATCHMEN #5? Why yes. Yes it is...

See, that issue's front-to-back symmetry is something you could only do in a comic book. But it's nice to see they're at least trying.

All pics, by the way, are from the official Warner Bros. site.

I knew all that fancy book learnin' would do some good eventually!

According to The Blog Readability Test site, X-Ray Spex is a college-level course:



Apparently all this blather about old movies and comic books might be worth a course credit or two. Ask your registrar, then send me a few bucks to cover tuition. A college education of this caliber ain't free, after all.

Looking back fondly on Thanksgiving 2031

I'm thankful for a lot of things this year. My wife, my daughter, my family, my friends, my health and the fact that somehow, I managed to sneak into the comic book industry and have had some small measure of success as a writer.

On a much smaller, geekier level, I'm also grateful for that complete AMERICAN FLAGG collection that came out years ago. Boy, it sure is nice to have the first dozen issues of Howard Chaykin's brilliant comic book collected between hard covers, isn't it? And the recoloring looks great!

What? You say it's never been collected? That the book, announced years ago, has yet to hit stores? Good golly, you're right! Looks like we'll actually be living in the time period of Reuben Flagg by the time that one hits the stands. (And that's 2031, for all you mystified non- FLAGG fans out there.) Guess in the meantime we'll have to make do with the gaudy, falling apart collections First Comics (anyone remember them?) put out back in 1987.
And here, to celebrate the day, is a Howard Chaykin take on a famous Normal Rockwell cover from FLAGG #4. As with most of FLAGG, the context behind the jokes is way too complicated for me to explain here, but trust me -- it's funny stuff, even 24 years later (or 24 years from now, depending on your point of view.)

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Buy my comics, make me rich: CATWOMAN #73

Here you go, fans of stories that no longer involve babies -- the first post-Helena issue of CATWOMAN, arriving in comic stores today. Selina has lost everything -- child, home, money, mask -- and has to rebuild from the ground up. Naturally, she's more than up to the task, but she comes face to face with an especially creepy side of Gotham's underbelly along the way ...

Intrigued? Just look for this swanky Adam Hughes cover at your local sequential art emporium. It's not quite WATCHMEN BABIES in "V FOR VACATION," but really, what is?

And, as always, bring your comments, questions and (ahem) criticisms 'round these parts. I'd like to hear 'em.

Need a gift for that hard-to-buy-for person on your list?

Might I suggest this bit of instant whimsy?

My beloved wife spotted this in the Sunday paper (really, where else are you going to see an advertisement like this?) and rightly felt it deserved my attention. There are plenty of things I love about this ad ("So Cute, So Cuddly .... So Surprising!," the classy lettering of the word "FARTING," and the fact that the ad promises "Guaranteed Laughs For Everyone!"), but my favorite part is the drawing of people actually enjoying the non-stop hilarity of the Farting Bear in action.

Here, allow me to blow it up for you...

That's a group of adults at what appears to be a sophisticated cocktail party -- guys in coats, women in dresses, actual glasses instead of beer cans -- and hell, they seem to be getting quite a kick out of ursa flatulus. I don't know who the joker is to the right of the panel, cleverly working the remote control, but I do know one thing: That smooth bastard knows how to throw a party!

SIMPSONS viewing alert!

It's no secret that THE SIMPSONS has gone downhill in recent seasons, probably for the simple reason that the show's been on the air since the first Bush administration (Remember when we thought he was a bad president? Ah, how innocent we were!) and anything -- especially a TV show that relies on sharp humor -- is going to see some decline.

Still, I usually manage to catch it every week and always end up getting at least a few laughs. Plus, let's give credit where credit is due: THE SIMPSONS MOVIE, while not making the quantum leap that SOUTH PARK did when it went to the big screen in 1999, was still very good, combining lots of good jokes with some heartwarming moments. It was the rare TV-show-turned-movie that expanded for the big screen while remembering the little things that made it a success in the first place. (I especially liked the "NO REWARD" note Homer painted on his big tank of pig waste. It was so completely in character -- dumb and arrogant at the same time).

So by now maybe you're saying "What's the deal, Will? Just writing a post to kick a show in decline or praise a movie that came out months ago? What the hell's up with that?" Well, here's what the hell's up: Even if you haven't watched THE SIMPSONS for years -- heck, even if you've never watched it -- if you're a comic book fan, you're going to want to tune in Sunday night. It's the long-awaited (by geeks, at least) episode where a new comic book store owner (voiced by Jack Black) comes to town and somehow -- and I have no idea how -- Alan Moore, Art Spiegelman and my personal favorite, Dan Clowes, fit into the story. And yes, the cartoonists will be providing their own voices. I guess it's not that big a surprise. Any show that could get Jasper Johns, Stephen Hawking and -- most surprising of all -- ultra-recluse Thomas Pynchon, shouldn't have any trouble getting three cartoonists to spend a little time in the recording studio.

That piece of art above, by the way, was swiped from the official Fox Simpsons site. Naturally, it doesn't show any of the aforementioned cartoonists, only (I'm guessing) the hipster comic shop owner voiced by JB. Not a big surprise, there, but I'm dying to see what they do with Alan Moore. Visually speaking, there's a lot to work with there.

Support the strike!

This little video's already all over the Internet, but I figure I might as well post it here, too. If you haven't seen it, take a couple of minutes to watch. It's a simple explanation of why all the people who write your favorite TV shows are standing outside, carrying picket signs and having snacks brought to them by the likes of Jay Leno and Eva Longoria.


I don't write for TV, but I do write for comic books, and I'm grateful for the royalties I get when my work is reprinted. (Just got a few bucks from a five-page Batman story that was published in Germany, believe it or not.) I certainly don't begrudge the TV writers the few meager cents they'd get from DVD and Internet use under the proposed new contract.

Someone's going to be getting rich -- very rich -- from the so-called "new media," and the people who actually created the shows (or, in corporate speak, "product") might as well get a taste of that cash, too.

Hey, she's the one who picked the costume

And it's not BatGIRL, it's BatMAN. Ever since I brought an (ahem) bootleg collection of the complete '60s BATMAN TV series home from Wizard World in August, Allie's been crazy about the Caped Crusader.

So when we asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween, this was the result. Cute, aint' she? You bet she is.

And.... we're back

Been having a bit of trouble with the Internet connection lately (thanks, Insight!) but I wanted to thank everyone for their comments on the just-completed X-Ray Spex Horror Movie Marathon. I had a great time writing it, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it.

I really didn't have a list of 31 movies when I started, just a few favorites -- KING KONG, CAT PEOPLE, DAWN OF THE DEAD, THE BLACK CAT -- that I knew I wanted to include. Sometimes, I wasn't even sure what the next days' movie would be until it came time to write that little "Coming tomorrow" bit at the end of the piece, then I was forced to think of something. It was more fun not knowing everything in advance, and I'm pretty happy with the results. Thirty-one movies, all worth watching (well, OK, except for SH! THE OCTOPUS) and not a single director repeated. Here, by the way, are a few movies that almost made the list: CURSE OF THE DEMON, Cronenberg's THE FLY, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, SCREAM, SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS, SHIVERS, RE-ANIMATOR, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD and the Thomas Edison film ELECTROCUTING AN ELEPHANT. (No kidding).

I'm tentatively planning a sequel for the month of December, and you get three guesses as to the theme that'll tie those movies together. It'll probably be an even dozen instead of 31, but keep an eye out for the return of Simone Simon and the rest of the CAT PEOPLE gang, starring in another movie that's sort-of-but-not-quite a horror film.

That's about a month away, though. In the meantime, I'll leave you with this bit of film criticism from the very entertaining book ILF AND PETROV'S AMERICAN ROAD TRIP, which was written by a couple of Russian satirists in the 1930s. Originally penned for the Soviet version of Life magazine, Ogonek, it's been reprinted by Cabinet Press and comes highly recommended, not only as a peek into America's past but as a fascinating look at how we looked through Red-colored glasses. Here's a telling excerpt from the chapter entitled "Hollywood":

"No! It's not enough to say that American cinema isn't art. It's a moral epidemic, no less destructive and dangerous than cholera or the plague ... You can graduate from twenty schools and universities and after a few years of regular cinema attendance turn into a total idiot."

They wrote that, mind you, in 1935, immediately after Hollywood's pre-Code era, one of the most groundbreaking, entertaining, intelligent periods in the history of movies. Imagine what they'd say now...