Five things I learned while wasting time watching the Memorial Day LAND OF THE LOST marathon on the Sci-Fi channel

1. Series star Wesley Eure, who played Will Marshall, was billed only as "Wesley" in the opening credits. And, according to the imdb, his last acting credit was playing "assorted characters" on "unknown episodes" of the 1989 series, TOTALLY HIDDEN VIDEOS.

2. Hugo and Nebula Award-winning science fiction author Larry Niven wrote an episode in which our heroes met a Civil War soldier who fought off the Sleestaks with a vintage cannon. This, incidentally, was a couple of years after he won those coveted awards for RINGWORLD.

3. Science fiction author Ben Bova wrote an episode where Rick Marshall (the dad) hurt himself playing with mystic crystals and Holly (the daughter) had to save him from the T-Rex "Grumpy."

4. I learned this off the Internet and not technically while watching an episode, but basketball star Bill Laimbeer played a Sleestak during the first season. This is common geek trivia, but I couldn't not include it here, could it?

5. The most important thing I learned? That nostalgia is a blinding force and this show, which I watched avidly during my formative years, was awful in just about every way. The special effects were beyond bad, the acting was worse and the plots were both boring and incomprehensible. But when you were a kid in the early 1970s, before DVDs of JURASSIC PARK and WALKING WITH DINOSAURS were sitting next to every TV in America, you took your dinosaur-themed entertainment where you could get it.

I mean, really. Just look at this intro. Can you think of a way it could possibly be worse?

Wait? There's a Grant Morrison doc in the works?

Apparently, yes -- and it's due out next year...



Spotted on The Comics Reporter

In the right hands, one second on the clock can be plenty of time

Specifically, the hands of one Lebron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball organization...

I can't believe I'm posting a clip from THE VIEW here...

... but I can't resist sharing this footage of Jesse "The Body" Ventura schooling that moron Elisabeth Hasselbeck on waterboarding, torture and other various and sundry topics.

Out you two Pixies go, through the door or out the window!

For no better reason than I saw the movie loudQUIETloud: A FILM ABOUT THE PIXES not too long ago, and I've been in a bit of a Pixies state of mind, here are a few videos from the band and its various offshoots. First, a live performance of the Pixies classic, "Wave of Mutilation"...



Next, a cover of the Jesus and Mary Chain song "Head On," from the Pixies final (and vastly underrated) studio album, "Trompe Le Monde." (I saw the band on this tour, and it was one of best shows I've ever seen.)



And now, moving on to the post-Pixies period, here's the no-kidding hit single (No. 2 on the Billboard Modern Rock charts) from the Deal sisters' band, the Breeders, "Cannonball" -- which was a pretty damn good song. And the video, I believe, was directed by Spike Jonze and Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon.



And finally, a cut from one of my favorite albums of all time, Frank Black's (aka Black Francis) second CD, "Teenager of the Year." They're all good songs, but here's one of the few videos from the album, "Whatever Happened to Pong?" -- recorded apparently (and oddly) from one of those Weird Al TV segments MTV used to air. Weird indeed!

Not that you asked, but here's why Oprah is a dangerous woman

Like I've said before, I can't stand Oprah, mostly for a lot of vague reasons I can't quite articulate. But here's a specific reason I can articulate: She gives no-nothing celebrities a platform to preach their unscientific medical quackery, then cheers them on. Need examples?

Here's a Salon.com article by Rahul K. Parikh M.D. (those initials indicate an actual doctor, Oprah) that discusses Suzanne Somer's wacko hormone treatments, then moves onto other matters. As Dr. (that's doctor) Parikh says...

It's not the first time Winfrey's advice on health issues has raised concern. In the past, the media mogul has been criticized for promoting cosmetic therapies that were untested and later deemed dangerous. Her recent development deal with Jenny McCarthy, who now blogs on Oprah.com and has a television show in the works, drew criticism from children's advocates, as McCarthy and her autism advocacy group, Generation Rescue, have been leading an ideological, unscientific crusade against childhood vaccines. Add in Winfrey's endorsement of the snake-oil self-help book, THE SECRET and Dr. Phil, and you might be tempted to sue her for malpractice.

And here's a Slate.com article by Arthur Allen (admittedly, not an M.D.) about Oprah's support of former Playboy model Jennie McCarthy's crusade against vaccines. If you'd like to read more of Ms. McCarthy's medical wisdom, perhaps this information about how she discovered her son was a "Crystal" and she was an "Indigo" will interest you...

The day I found out I was an adult Indigo will stay with me forever. I was walking hand in hand with my son down a Los Angeles street when this women approached me and said, “You’re an Indigo and your son is a Crystal.” I immediately replied, “Yes!” and the woman smiled at me and walked away. I stood there for a moment, because I had no idea what the heck an Indigo and Crystal was, but I seemed so sure of it when I had blurted out “Yes!” After doing some of my own research on the word Indigo, I realized not only was I an early Indigo but my son was in fact a Crystal child.

Yes, Oprah, tell your entire cult of followers to heed this woman's advice. Tell them to prevent their kids from getting vaccines, and if their kids have problems, tell them that they're "crystals," so there's no need to do anything but bask in the rainbow glory of it all. I can't see anything that could possibly go wrong.

The essence of Anderson

Speaking of Wes Anderson (as I sort of was during yesterday's post), here's a trailer for the (unfortunately) fictional Wes Anderson Film Festival* that film students Alex Cornell and Phil Mills cooked up for a class. Frankly, it's pretty damned brilliant. I mean, I've seen this thing done before (Anderson's quirks are pretty easy to catalogue), but I've never seen it done this well.

* Though considering that all his movies (and even short films) are collected on the various Anderson DVDs, you could really host your own film fest with very little effort. I'd start with the Max Fischer version of OUT OF SIGHT, slip over to BOTTLE ROCKET (followed by the original short film) and head through the ouevre chronologically).

Time to man up, Esquire, and fix your damn list

Esquire Magazine, as always worried about what makes a man in modern America, has released a list of 75 Movies Every Man Should See. Click here to see the slideshow (with handy links to Netflix -- wonder what they paid to get such choice product placement?).

I lost count a couple of times, thanks to the annoying video commercials that show up every ten or so movies, but I think I've seen about 58 of the films on this list. Like all successful lists, it serves its real purpose -- namely, to give people like me an excuse to complain about the bad choices on it. (FATAL ATTRACTION? JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY?)

Oh, and here, by the way, are 10 movies the geniuses at Esquire forgot. I even managed to stick closer to their whole "movies for men" theme than they did. Sorry, though -- not Netflix links.

1. THE GAME -- Fincher's forgotten movie, with Michael Douglas learning to be a good person -- the hard way. (FIGHT CLUB is great, but it's a bit too obvious.)


2. CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND -- Man living the dream (rich TV producer by day, CIA killer by night) loses control of his admittedly complicated life. So good not even Julia Roberts' presence can spoil it.

2. THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU -- Esquire had BOTTLE ROCKET, which is the hipster pick for Wes Anderson movies. It's very good, but he's improved since then-- and this Anderson movie specifically focuses on the plight of an aging guy who wants to act like a boy.


4. THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE -- The forgotten Coen Brothers film. Billy Bob Thornton as a man who defines "tactiturn" stumbles into murder, various cover-ups and existential dilemmas. Beautifully filmed in B and W.

5. THE APARTMENT -- Billy Wilder's 1960 Oscar winner about a corporate lackey (Jack Lemmon) who learns to be a mensch. Frankly, I'm stunned Esquire left this one off the list.

6. THE BAD NEWS BEARS -- Because men start as boys. (The original, with Walter Matthau, of course).

7. THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 -- Speaking of Matthau. Watch this one so you can burn it into your brain, because that new Tony Scott-Denzel Washington-John Travolta one is going to suuuuuuck.

8. THE CROWD -- Great silent film from King Vidor following the life of one ordinary man. Esquire must've left it off because it's not available on Netflix.

9. OUT OF THE PAST -- Robert Mitchum and Jane Greer in one of the great films noir. And they share one of the great exchanges in movie history: Her: "Oh, Jeff, I don't want to die." Him: "Neither do I, baby, but if I have to, I'm going to be the one who dies last."

10. FIVE STAR FINAL -- What's a movie list without a little pre-Code, and this nasty little classic is one of the best. Edward G. Robinson plays a tabloid editor who slooooooowly gets back his soul. Again, not on Netflix.

PS: By the way, Esquire, you geniuses used an image of the TV show for your MASH pick. Nice going.

An interview? With moi?

Over at the Pulse, intrepid comics reporter Jen Contino has an interview with yours truly about LATE NIGHTS AT KINKOS, my self-published collection of self-published comics from the 1980s and 1990s.

Here's how she describes it:

"Late Nights at Kinkos includes comic strips, spoofs, color commentary and a few more surprises. Pfeifer told us what it was like getting the chance to reexamine his work. So click the link, gentle PULSE reader to find out how a six foot frog and Violent Man affected the psyche of this writer. "

Click indeed. In fact, click right here.

And, as always, if you want to buy the book (it's a bargain!), click here or on the ubiquitous book cover to the right.