Books of the Year, Part 3: Just what were the World's Deadliest Fighting Secrets, anyway?

In a perfect world, Kirk Demarias' book, "Mail-Order Mysteries: Real Stuff from Old Comic Book Ads" would win the Pulitzer Prize. And then it would win the Nobel.

That's because Demarais answers the question we've been wondering since childhood: If you sent money to those companies that advertised in comic books, what the heck would they send you in return?

In what must have been a Herculean effort (or at least a lot of time on eBay), Demarais actually got his hands on such fabled products as the 100 Toy Soldiers, the Polaris Nuclear Sub and X-Ray Spex, and offers them up for your inspection in the pages of this book. As you might guess, they're mostly cheap junk. Those 100 Toy Soldiers that looked so amazing in the ads were flat pieces of plastic. That Polaris Nuclear Sub was a glorified box that would crumble in actual water. And, of course, those X-ray Spex were nothing but pieces of cardboard with a feather in between. Sorry.

Demarias breaks down all this chicanery into "We Imagined," "They Sent" and "Customer Satisfaction." Every so often, a product would actually live up to the hype -- the Exhaust Whistle and Bird Call worked impressively -- but it's more fun when the products are blatant, bold schemes to separate kids from their parents money. Thankfully, Demarais reprints the ad in question next to the a photo of the actual product so we can experience the thrill of the pitch and the crushing disappointment of the product all at once.

Best of all, "Mail-Order Mysteries" isn't just educational -- it's also a beautiful book. The cover and interior are cleverly designed, and there's an appendix of full-page comic book ads, with more reprinted on the endpages. And, as if you needed more reason to own it, the covers GLOW IN THE DARK. Did you hear that? They GLOW IN THE DARK. Go ahead and place your order now -- I'll be calling Sweden about that Nobel Prize.

If you like this sort of thing (and, since you're reading a blog called "X-Ray Spex," I'm going to assume that you do), be sure to check out Demarais' web site, Secret Fun Spot. And, if you have a special fondness for pranks, gags and novelties, order his other book, "Life of the Party: A Visual History of S.S. Adams, Makers of Pranks and Magic for 100 Years." It's worth a space on any pop culture shelf.

By the way, in answer to the title of this post, the World's Deadliest Fighting Secrets, featured in ads with memorable mystery man Count Dante, were mostly things like gouging someone's eyes out with your thumbs or shattering someone's spine. Now you know!